Dysfunct

sigh

2008-01-31T01:09:00.001+08:00

Been ages huh? Just feel like letting out some steam right now..

Old habits die hard.. i always get myself in situations where i regret them later..

Yeah i know, "you asked for it, cal".. fuck me.

Why cant i just get myself some straightforward scenario? Cause it never comes! well.. at least not when i want it.

On a lighter note, been in my job for 6months already. Its been rough.. but well worth it i suppose. Least i see some light now. Hopefully my career can accelerate in this place.

Oh yea.. many ppl think my grand dad's situation is much better now. Well its not really.. shan't say much. Just that only one area was mainly gone.. but the other escalated..

2006-12-11T14:06:00.000+08:00

check this out. just looveeee

2006-11-27T10:34:00.000+08:00

Long time no blog! Uzashi buri! I'm back in office! For the first in the last four days.. All thats left are this coming wednesday, the 12th and 13th and i can say "GOODBYE MHA! GOODBYE NS! and ORD LOH!" Hehe.. Thats me lookin on the brighter side of things of course.

On the other hand, there comes the worry of having to find a job again. As mentioned before, direction is still set in working for an advertising company or events. Either one would do, but im kinda holdin up for brandon's sis help for the advertising bit. If doesnt come through soon, then i'd probably have to get my CV ready and go for events. SOooOo.. If ANYONE knows of any lobangs in these specific areas, pls HELP! Kindness and thoughtfulness would be GRATEFULLY appreciated =)

Oh and another update, have finished 4 out of 6 weeks of Salsa classes for the beginners course and all i can say is WOW! hahaha.. Getting to know new ppl is a lil hard for me, but nonetheless, it is still a new and fun experience to learn a foreign dance with others like me. Especially when its no longer an individual dance like hip hop. The stress you would feel to both think of moves and lead your partner is at a new level altogether! heh. My bitch has been yearning for a salsa crash course from me for some time already. Promise i'll teach you all that i know asap aight mel? =P Then we can go union square and join the circle of salsa dancers!

2006-10-23T21:46:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i wonder whats in my capability to help friends in need.. all i can do is lend a listening ear and empathise. It really is scary when i see a friend collapsing in front of me, just leaving me paralysized when that happens..

In the end all i can do is pray. That what small power i have to bring back the light is enough..

pls tell me how i can help..

2006-10-19T09:09:00.000+08:00

the Questioner
Thanks for taking the test !

you chose CY - your Enneagram type is SIX.

"I am affectionate and skeptical"

Questioners are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontative.

How to Get Along with Me

Be direct and clear.
Listen to me carefully.
Don't judge me for my anxiety.
Work things through with me.
Reassure me that everything is OK between us.
Laugh and make jokes with me.
Gently push me toward new experiences.
Try not to overreact to my overreacting.

What I Like About Being a Six

being committed and faithful to family and friends
being responsible and hardworking
being compassionate toward others
having intellect and wit
being a nonconformist
confronting danger bravely
being direct and assertive

What's Hard About Being a Six

the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind
procrastinating because of fear of failure; having little confidence in myself
fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of
exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger
wishing I had a rule book at work so I could do everything right
being too critical of myself when I haven't lived up to my expectations

Sixes as Children Often

are friendly, likable, and dependable, and/or sarcastic, bossy, and stubborn
are anxious and hypervigilant; anticipate danger
form a team of "us against them" with a best friend or parent
look to groups or authorities to protect them and/or question authority and rebel
are neglected or abused, come from unpredictable or alcoholic families, and/or take on the fearfulness of an overly anxious parent

Sixes as Parents

are often loving, nurturing, and have a strong sense of duty
are sometimes reluctant to give their children independence
worry more than most that their children will get hurt
sometimes have trouble saying no and setting boundaries

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele

The Enneagram Made Easy
Discover the 9 Types of People
Harper SanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages

You liked the test? so please don't forget to RATE it...
but remember! it had only two questions!!! ;-)

you wanna know MORE?
so check out, what Wikipedia says about your type...

...even more you'll find in Google

or do you prefer to

You are not completely happy with the result?!
You chose CY

Would you rather have chosen:

AY (EIGHT)

BY (FOUR)

CX (TWO)

CZ (ONE)

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on ABC

You scored higher than 99% on XYZ

Link: The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test written by felk on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

2006-10-18T09:02:00.000+08:00

Emo Kid
You are 14% Rational, 28% Extroverted, 14% Brutal, and 28% Arrogant.

You are the Emo Kid, best described as a quiet pussy! You tend to be an intuitive rather than a logical thinker, meaning you rely more on your feelings than your thoughts. Not only that, but you are introverted, gentle, and rather humble. You embody all the traits of the perfect emo kid. You are a push-over, an emotional thinker, gentle to the extent of absurdity, and so humble that it even makes Jesus puke. (And Jesus almost never pukes, being immortal and not requiring an act of puke to dispell toxins from his corporeal manifestation.) If you write poetry, you no doubt write angsty, syrupy lines about depression, sadness, and other such redundant states of emo-being that go something like this:

life is a spike / upon which i have impaled mysefl / fuck you dad

So, your personality is defective because you are too gentle, rather underconfident in yourself, decidely lacking in any rational thought, and also a bit too inhibited. Plus, your poetry really upsets your father.

I probably made you cry, didn't I? Fucking Emo Kid.

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.

2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.

3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.

4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.

Compatibility:

Your exact opposite is the Smartass.

Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hippie, the Televangelist, and the Starving Artist.

If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.

The other personality types:

The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

Be sure to take my Sublime Philosophical Crap Test if you are interested in taking a slightly more intellectual test that has just as many insane ramblings as this one does!

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on Rationality

You scored higher than 99% on Extroversion

You scored higher than 99% on Brutality

You scored higher than 99% on Arrogance

Link: The Personality Defect Test written by saint_gasoline on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

2006-10-16T22:53:00.000+08:00

Libra Man
...

Heterosexual

He looks for psycological action along experimential rather than purely physical lines. His character forever is full swing, he is continually out to achieve some objective; this is not the sit-quietly-by-yourself sign. Libra embodies his motto, “We are”, and a relationship with him can feel like a duet or danceathon that has gone too long. A lot is going on in the mind of this man, and he's beaming with agendas. Sex for him must be “beautiful”. His vision of lovemaking is rather lyrical – no fumbling or false starts, but rather a slow, erotic journey with lots of crescendo, and a sweeping, successful finish that should never leave him or his partner wanting. As a result he may, indulges in lavish foreplay, determined to to gratify a woman early on if only as a preventive measure, daunted by the prospect of not delivering a big bang during intercourse. Fittingly, he is a “light”, surfacey lover – orderly, yet improvisational. Kissing a woman's mouth, neck, ears, whatever, Libra expertly employs breath- sharp inhalations or hot blows – to awake hidden erogenous zones. He is a master of the soft touch, barely tracing his fingers over a woman's body, allowing her anticipation to play a part in arousal. Libra is engineered for a tantric style of lovemaking. By taking a more yogic approach to sex – the erotic act with Libra can indeed be a transcendent experience. With the brain being by far the Scale's most powerful tool, sexually or otherwise, he may, in extream cases, become so immersed in the erotic that it replaces any real, physical contact, intrigued as he is by no-fuss, no-muss hands off experiences. Classy strippers, phone sex, autoeroticism, as well as elaborate mind games of domination and submission and voyeuristic fantasies are Libran domain.

Straight turn-ons: Dominant females, tall women, classic beauty, models, (active) worship, long, straight hair, alabaster skin, kissing, licking, cleavage, cunnilingus, vanilla, voyeurism, female masturbation, (passive) lite bondage, girl on top, side entry, licking, blowing, biting, (active) nipple play, m-m-f threesomes, couples, private clubs, erotica, (passive) nipple play, sensual touching

Homosexual

As one of the truly bisexuals signs of the zodiac, he is especially paradoxical in his sexual attractions. In brass tacks, Libra is prone to liking threesomes, of either the female-male-female or the male-female-male variety. Having a bisexual female partner is an especially thrilling possibility to the Libra, as the possibilities seem endless. As if Libra's paradoxical nature wasn't confusing enough, he's at once attracted to the straightestof men and the most ambiguous of women. Of all gay men, Libra is perhaps the least naturally inclined toward steady relationships. His attraction to straight-acting, -appearing, and indeed –identified men finds him hooking up with the most barely bisexual characters – “closet cases” – with whom he shares a homoerotic, rather than strictly homosexual, approach to same-sex contact. Libra can be quite the little male Lolita, precociously prevoking whatever submerged gay fantasy another man might possess. Like his straight counterpart, gay Libra likes to keep sex light and lively: Some of the manly tops he attracts push his envelope a little further than he typically likes. He is orally adept, though perhaps not especially talented in the deep-throating department. Sixty-nine is standard sexual fare for the Scales guy, all things being equal. A need for order and control prohibits Libra from ever being the consummate submissive. Instead, he might be described as an agressive bottom.

Gay turn-ons: Younger males, straight, married men, models, pretty boys, long hair, scandinavians, mutual j/o, body contact, gymnasts, swimmers, surfers, skaters, marble skin, bisexuality, threesomes, artists, landscapers, (active) nipple play, low hangers, voyeurism, (passive) analingus, (passive) lite b+d, hairy treasure trails, spas, saunas, steam rooms. bonvivantism, soccer kit, players, (active) oral

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on Sex

You scored higher than 99% on Starsign

Link: The Sextrology Test written by KamikazeParrot on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

This is esp for Mel who intro-ed this to me. hahahahaha..

Breast man
65% Breast Worthy!

Your'e a breast man...you may just not be MY kind of breast man. For you efforts, I'll give you a little tease. Here's a little shot of my cleavage...just for playing.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on Breast Worthy

Link: The Want To See My Breasts? Test written by AspiringDiva on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

2006-10-05T09:51:00.000+08:00

Something i feel like talking about since last night's conversation with Mel. Lets get on the topical debate of the words "Hope" and "False Hope".

Hope. The feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best, to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence.. Or Hope against hope. To continue to hope, although the outlook does not warrant it.

Interesting how that one word can mean the exact opposite of the spectrum in different circumstances. i guess it does play a big part in deciphering its meaning. Personally, when i think of it generally, its the feeling of something good to come. How i hope for the best. How i want the good times to keep coming. How i hope against hope that theres a chance for a better change in people. Esp a specific few whom i shall not mention.

Then theres false hope. The meaning whereby to me, is the mention of falsehood and past facts(which may no longer be applicable) to bring up ones belief and expectations. And where else does it lead to? I call it the fools paradise. Self delutional world where hopes and dreams come true though the likelyhood of those coming true are probably a fraction away from nil.

To be frank, i think im one of those jokers who fall in the "fools paradise" category. The thought of giving up just because a person changed(therefore the past fact no longer being relevant) and it is, indeed a hard fact for some to accept. But thats pretty normal, people change all the time right? Its just so much harder to accept it when its for the worse..

So what do you, reader, hope for?

2006-10-02T14:36:00.000+08:00

What is this tight and heavy feeling that im getting in my chest?.
Im gonna do something tommorrow i'd never thought of possible a year ago.
Breaking that kryptonite..

all confidence in the angel i once knew has extinguished. Just the dilemma of HOW to do it. Its for the best, isnt it? I dunno, right now i feel so god damn lost.
I need some assurance damnit. I know whats good for me. But pain has its strange ways to make it seem so enticing. BLEAH.

"i gotta do it..! And move on in life.

2006-09-27T10:41:00.000+08:00

Saturday was a killer(literally) pre-celebration to my birthday. A brief post of events on that day:

-Went to Villa Bali for a small snack cum drinking session for dinner, where we managed to finish a bottle of chivas. I drank a hefty portion of the bottle's contents thanks to the underhanded means of thy friends. Heh..

-Headed down to Momo for the second part of my celebration. To make things short, i had to be man-carried home around 2+am after drinking the chivas(mentioned earlier), the very GENEROUS serving of scotch whisky from Gabriel(bitch), numerous tequila shots, a waterfall, and the finishing move that done me over... the 7 dwarves. Only that they enhanced it to 10 dwarves. Argh..

Overall, i enjoyed myself alot and had what i wanted, memories of a great 21st birthday. Though i couldnt really thank everyone personally and if i did, it was probably not to their liking since i was high, i'd wanna say a BIG THANK YOU!!!! to everyone who showed up despite their tight schedules. For those who took the trouble of making and choosing my presents, dressing up for the occassion, and just being there to celebrate with me. im really greatful and depply touched. Me <3 you guys!

With that said, im officially past the phase of being a minor.
"Wow Cal, you're 21.."
Guess its time i wake myself up from the childish games and naive thinking. Other than the resolution of cutting down my clubbing activity, i hope that by Jan 07', i'll be working somewhere in the quest of finding my niche in the advertising-events-media field.. Right now it feels that these jobs are up my alley. Well, better some direction than none i guess. Anyone with lobangs? Greatly appreciated if any.

Back to work for now. Hope things work out in time to come.
Cheers!

2006-09-13T23:05:00.000+08:00

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and I. It can be anything you want- good or bad. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you.
...it's nice to see what people remember about me.

Since commenting isnt available here, pls tag me instead. It'll be greatly appreciated.

2006-09-08T11:49:00.000+08:00

This weekend is gonna be sooo good! I just know it =]

2006-08-24T11:07:00.000+08:00

HoHo.. Hair cut! Sometimes although i dread doing them, i just love it when its all done and my hair is finally more trim and proper. Hahah.. yes, i dun really take care of my hair much to start with, guess thats why i kinda prefer either short or long hair. The necessity for styling them is the least!

Oh yeah.. Had my IPPT yesterday morning.. and flopped. Been ages since i last ran and that left me with a concoction of giddies, fatigue and self hatred (for not excercising more often, of course). Got the email informing me on my next try already.. Damned it all, why do those ppl have to be so efficient when it comes to these things? -.- That will be on 14th September. Bleah.. If this goes on, i'll have to retake it two - three more times before i ORD. Tough.

2006-08-19T21:20:00.000+08:00

Otsuka Ai - Yumekui

The new released song from Ai Otsuka! Theme song for the movie "Tokyo Friends" thats yet to be released.. I cant wait! Btw Ai Otsuka is also the main character for the movie. Watch the 5-part series of tokyo friends in the movie section i mentioned before. You'll love it i swear. =)

2006-08-16T14:45:00.000+08:00

Considered a norm and a challenge for most men who are coming out of School/National Service, we would ponder upon ourselves, the daily lives we lead and the direction we should be headed in. How long a duration exactly, does one take to decide on their path? Aspirations are incredibly random for some people. The drive to reach their goals keeps them focused and to be able to reach it, Wonderful! For some, it just comes as one-off opportunity. How lucky..Guess its like getting one of the 2 categories (my version) of work. One is the high flying type of job, pays tons of money, BUT with little or no job satisfaction. Second would be the the Interest-type of job. A career that may not necessarily pay much according to your interests.

I Like dance. But as it is right now, i cannot possibly imagine myself being in the profession of dance with the current "knowledge" that i'm equipped with. Lets say i do try studying dance. (which ideally, would be in New York) I'll need the capital to even step foot there. Other option is media.. funny how i wanted to be a radio DJ when i initially started mass comm studies.. but i guess it cant be helped that our life goals always change. Being a news anchor.. hmm.. is it possible? Where do i even start? Given an opportunity at any kind of media-related work right now would probably suffice! I dunno.. i just wanna try.

2006-08-14T11:16:00.000+08:00

My office is getting really more empty nowadays.. First Thomas relocated office to HTA. Now its Gerald's and Remus' last day at work.. By the end of this week, Alvin would not be seen at work anymore either! Only a quarter of the ppl left are from the original bunch. Saddened by this really..

Pretty bored at work right now cause i'll be covering the personal assistant of my SD for this coming 3 days. GOOD cause my SD won't be in office all the way. BAD cause i didnt bring my book along to read today. SOOooo what am i left with? A crummy computer in front of me that allows minimal browsing through the internet, a phone that rings occasionally, not for the SD, but for the PA. You can sometimes see how housewives network sometimes.. haha.. i asked one of them if she wanted to leave a message. Her rteply being, "Pls tell her to get back to annie on Mrs. XXX situation." So i call the PA and tell her the message. I find out the so-called situation is one of a marital third party relationship.

DONT THEY KNOW HOW TO KEEP THINGS HUSH HUSH?! No wonder secrets can never be kept nowadays.. reminds me of Hui Bin =P

OKOK.. Another topic of discussion. *clears throat* Is Singapore boring? or is it just the lifestyle our era chooses to live it in?

We know for a fact that Singapore is a small country. You might be thinkin, "Heck, what has a small dot in the world has to offer me and my curious personality?" RIGHT? Well, i did think that way before, and honestly. I dont think it is the case where Singapore has any lack of entertainment value for activities.

*warning* The following para contains explicit jibberish
Lets say you are a water sports enthusiast. Go look in the forums man! I've seen countless callings for ppl who wanna go sailing, wake boarding, Jet-skiing and more! Like babes in bikini's? Heck, Sentosa is perfect! Want a drink? There's ample bars at the respectve beaches. Love music and dance? (like me =p) Heck, other than the usual club scene, why not a dance group/community? Or heck, learn all sorts of dances! (hey, i would, given the time and money). Love snow? Go get it then! Cant really remember the name of the place but i know there's one at Jurong. Or go to Eski Bar if u feel like a drink.

Actually when i think about it, no matter where one lives, in any part of the world, how one spends their daily lives still comes back to the basics. How do u make of it? Basically, a dull person = dull personality.

And no, i don't think Singapore is boring. Just that im too darn lazy to travel around so much without a car -.-

Lastly, this is some test i took from william's blog. Cheers.

I'm a Mazda Miata!

You like to soak up the sun, but your tastes are down to earth. Everyone thinks you're cute. Life is a winding road, and you like to take the curves in stride. Let other people compete in the rat race - you're just here to enjoy the ride.

Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.

2006-08-11T16:22:00.000+08:00

Sashi Buri! Long time no see. Im going to Genting next weekend again! Since it'll be a week after i get my allowance (which is after midnight tonight), guess i'll have to control my expenses this coming week so that i can make a killing at the casino when im there =P

Was at Momo on Wednesday for Melissa's birthday. Pretty funny how silla and jo got drunk instead of her. Actually, you're pretty lucky you don't drink! =P Well anyway, Happy birthday Melissa!! Hope what little things we did, had made your day in some strange way. heh. Ooh ooh! She had introduced some dance class that teaches Latin Hiphop recently as well.. very interested to be honest. Hopefully to advance it to other hip hop classes as well =] Any takers for dance classes?

Just a random thought. Does life really improve after one gives up any expectations? I dunno why but it seems that way. Like how you would just START to appreciate what you HAVE, rather than brood over what you DONT. Thing is, i didn't just decide to do so or something.. it jus happened that way. Which is even why im more pleasantly pleased. Bout a week ago, i was thinking of how life would be again if i went back to working in the nightlife. Just for fun, and we'll see what we get. Well i dont think i need that anymore. Heh.

Lastly, a friend (also a colleague) had mentioned bout a week ago that there were 2 options to the kind of looks that i have. One, would be that im a "people's person" that charms the ladies and socially well-off. The other would be me, well... being LITERALLY gay. -.- SOooo.. Here's the dilemma. I dont think that im option no.1 (as i believe most ppl who read this might be nodding their heads to this) and i'm also sure as hell im not option no.2! Now this, i dont care what ppl would say! So i was just wondering.. how would you get the impression of those specific looks of an individual's persona, just by looking at them? Well thats all my thought for one day. I'll see you when i see you. Adios!

2006-06-13T11:44:00.001+08:00

Two more days till i leave for Jakarta. Not very excited to be honest.. I admit i do want a getaway. But not there... Even a place like Desaru in Malaysia, Batam or the better places like Australia, Korea or France, Japan, Maldives etc. =P Heh.. Oh well, since the purpose of this trip isnt exactly a holiday to begin with, i shall not complain.

I gotta be wearin a "coat and tie" attire on the wedding night and i have none of those! Thinkin what to wear with a black blazer and pants.. not white cause i dun wanna end up looking like i came from MIB -.- Damn.. If only i had my Brown attire now. I'd be more than happy to wear that on that night =
So let me see.. Thursday night i fly off.. zzz Just for a wedding! Well luckily some of my relatives over there are "happening" ppl. Can get some nightlife there or at least a game of pool. LoL. ANyone with a shopping list, better tell me now!

2006-06-13T11:44:00.000+08:00

2006-05-30T10:25:00.000+08:00

Sorry Mar. Feel like shit knowing i couldn't be much of a comfort when you needed it from me that night. honto ni gomen ne..

2006-05-29T08:43:00.000+08:00

A note to myself: Get rid of all my old shirts!

Woke up today with a splitting headache thats still bothering me now. And in my dazed state, i picked and ironed what i THOUGHT was my usual white shirt. Instead, i only realised that i had worn my old, baggy shirt that was a good fit to me once, what.. 2 years back? Funny thing is i only realised it when i had reached work.
"Eh? Why is my sleeve exceptionally big today?"
"And why is my first button so low?"

BLEAH.. What a bad start of the day...

Ok. Anyway, was at downtown east last night to celebrate Kaixin's daughter's 1st birthday! Eunice is sooooo cute! Few things did cross my mind last night, but i guess its stupid for me to take them seriously.

Oh yea.. dunno why but both J's contacted me on saturday. One asked to meet up, other suggested to club together if i wasnt attached yet. I had a laugh that night, thats for sure.

After elmo passed me the speakers last week, i have yet to find a player to hold the songs we need for our dance sessions.. pathetic la! Other than that, the only option of getting to see the video of passion while practicing is getting it on william's psp. Thats if he's willing and also that if we can get the video out of youtube.com.. Also, i found a pretty cheap dance studio thats for rent near my house! Its like what.. $5 per hour? Heh! Cheap and good =D Of course the other, better option would be the dance studio in my school.. But using the facilities there wouldnt be private enough for us (ok, to me).

Freakin hungry now.. off to bfast!

2006-05-22T09:11:00.000+08:00

HATE HATE HATE, Monday blues! Yvonne has officially been posted back into the SPF side, leaving an empty space behind our work stations + Gerald took urgent leave today for some stuff which i cant remember. Grrr.. Went drinkin with Gab and Mar last night. Wore a snow cap for the second time and man, was it itchy! Kept taking it out just so i could scratch.. Anyway, first stop was a depressing place called 'Dream Bar' at Boat Quay. My god.. was more like a nightmare la! Greeted with the old man as welcoming committee + to what gab said, were the so-called lounge chairs (which looked like a it survived WW2). The beer was stale and the process of choosing a song was so hassling! It shows, do not be in a hurry to settle at a place for drinks. Even if most of the shops are closed for the day -.-

We eventually left the dreadful place and joined Gab's sergant at 'Lollipop' for round two. Other than the change of era (there was an oldie grp celebratin some event there) in music, we slowly got used to it and started playing our games and stuff. Overall, the night was pretty fun =] There was a particular song Mar sang on a few occassions already, kinda got me hooked to it. Title is Wo yao kuai le by A-Mei. Nice la~

2006-05-19T16:53:00.000+08:00

Just read the blog of J's best friend. So it seems someone is back into the picture. Heh. Well at least one question that lingered is finally answered. Way to go..

2006-05-19T10:46:00.000+08:00

Woah..Been a while hasnt it? HELLO! LoL! Its Friday and that means its end of the week! =D Get to go leave work at 5 today cause they proclaimed it the "Eat with your family day" o.O alot of people are thinkin. We dun eat with our families? Heck.. No complaints from me thats for sure. So long it gives me more time off from work =P The past week has been hectic in preparation for our exercise at work. Glad its finally over! I would think its a success with minimal hiccups, if any (well thats my POV, of course).

You know, i've been going to KTV pubs quite often recently, but i never do sing! One would wonder why am i wasting my time there. Heh.. Well at least i get to appreciate my friends' singing =] And not to mention that im the king of the land of drinkalot.

I feel a lil stupid cause i told William i couldnt make it for Caelan's birthday later today when he msged me earlier this week.. I thought it was the day itself when he msg'ed but it wasnt so. AH well.. least im going right?

2006-05-02T17:52:00.000+08:00

The long weekend has passed and labour day is gone. Seriously i do think i have no life nowadays.. All i did was club from Fri - Sun(fuggin 3 days in a row la), and then it was a coffee session and LAN Gaming with the guys on Monday. Bleah. All of which were planned last minute, but still, sometimes it still beats rotting at home.

Doesn't seem like there's anything productive to do at home! Its either surfing and chatting on the net, sleeping, watching tv or.. err.. SEE SEE! THERES NOTHING TO DO! (*@Q&#&*@#^&

Anyway, Someone's birthday is drawing nearer and i'm prepared to go broke for this coming month.. heh. Other than that, so are my exams! SHIT. 2 of them in fact.. but both in the coming mondays ahead. SIgh..

Someone with a magic solution? PLS HELP ME... i need a change of lifestyle! Maybe something more sporty? More interactive and less stale like the clubbing and constant gaming that i've been doing..

Had asked a few ppl before to imagine me being lean and tanned with thinner eyebrows (yes u can laugh)

2006-04-27T08:57:00.000+08:00

Yesterday after work, headed down to spins to meet Elmo, Gabriel, Marvin, William, Ah Jo, Felicia, Crystal, Ed, Ah mi, Nicole and co. Started our dance session about 8pm(pretty late) but things went on pretty smoothly i guess. Since it has been a while since the last session(bout a month+), our coordination with each other and movements have deteorated a little. Good thing is that we managed to fuse most of our routines that were made earlier, into one long routine! At the end of the night, was too tired to think of anything else but go home and sleep.Andy arrived just when we finished.. so he wanted to eat. Marv followed him and they were headin to Momo together with Gab and the girls. Me and elmo? We headed home.. Sucks to have work the day after.. seriously.

Slept near midnight. Sounds like ample sleep right? I would've gotten 7hrs+ sleep.. I dunno why but i woke up earlier feeling so drained of energy. Both physically and mentally. Its as though i never slept at all! Was dreaming all night, or was it thinking? Cause usually i'd forget what i dreamt of. This case is a lil different. Was as if my thoughts were put into a motion picture. o.O Now my only worry is to stop yawning at work.. and to get enough sleep tonight.

2006-04-24T14:38:00.001+08:00

History's repeating itself. I'm going back to my old gaming lifestyle again! What with the Quake4 and Dota matches that we guys have been playin non-stop recently, i dont think its gonna be very healthy for my wallet -.- Seriously man, what happened to my healthy lifestyle?! Even our dancing sessions which we used to have so often, have not been active for the last month plus! SIGH..

7months 19 days to go before ORD.. And i'm still undecided on what are my plans after that. Continue study? Work? Work where? part-time? Full? Bleah. I guess its high time i started focusing on what i want and not worry bout my social life.

to gab: Dude, hearin your story, i really wish i could help you out. Unfortunately all i can be is a listening ear. You know my stand in my personal love life.. Cant really do much if mine's far from being solved either. If only we could get out of these complicated lifestyles we're livin in right? Heh.. Like you said, if there's any solution to our problems, we already know of it, jus how we choose to do it (if we do).

2006-04-05T08:43:00.001+08:00

Sarah Maclachen - Fallen

Heaven bend to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight
Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried, I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so

We all begin with good intent
When love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past can be undone
But we carry on our back the burdens time always reveals
In the lonely light of morning
The wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
I have held so dear

Though I've tried, I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so

Heaven bend to take my hand
I've nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turned their heads embarassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one misstep one slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

Though I've tried, I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so

Great song.. Those who have not heard it yet, do make the trouble to listen

2006-04-05T08:43:00.000+08:00

2006-04-03T11:48:00.000+08:00

New week, old habits. My Gawd. Lets see. In the past week, i've been playin loads of LAN games again, went clubbing 4 times (though i didnt wish for one of them) and had NO dance session nor Sentosa! Shit... Whats happening to my life??? Im becoming more active for the wrong things again! I dun wanna become the "Ba Zhang" that i was before! Okok yes im still fat but not AS fat. Gotta do something.. My sleep for the past few days have been rotten.. u know the feeling of not having slept at all when u wake up?? Yes, that feeling.. Hoping i'll get some kind of sleep-debt tonight when im home.

Events for this coming week would be... *checks calendar*

5th April, Wednesday - Jasmine aka Scallop's Birthday @ Momo. (see, clubbing again)
7th April, Friday - No plans. But SHIT yea, i think im gonna go to the above mentioned again -.-
8th April, Saturday - Movie date! Well sorta.. hah. V for Vendetta!
11th & 15th April - Mass Media Research & Journalism Project Datelines, respectively. (in which i've not started any of them yet.. ah heck, whats new?)

2006-03-31T10:44:00.000+08:00

I wash my hands off the matter. Should there be a need to be bothered by these things in the future? I dun wish to see / fear the possible outcomes again everytime im not there. I probably mentioned some harsh words, but you know what? Screw that. Goin thru that kind of heart ache isnt gonna be added on to my life.

I have my right to be angry. If not for friends who were around, god knows what would have happened. For YOUR friend, well i honestly think she wasn't much help. Unless of course, thats what you wanted and she was supporting you. If that would've been the case, all the more i shall not say anything more.

..Stop giving me false hope if you have no feelings towards me..

2006-03-29T09:07:00.000+08:00

Just shows how boring it can get in office when there's no work to do..

You Are The Opposite of Machiavellian

You don't have a cynical, power hungry bone in your body.
Honest and kind, you believe being a good person is the most important thing.
While your upstanding morals should be admired, be careful!
You're at risk for being manipulated and toyed with.

How Machiavellian Are You?

____________________________________________________

You Have a Phlegmatic Temperament

Mild mannered and laid back, you take life at a slow pace.You are very consistent - both in emotions and actions.You tend to absorb set backs easily. You are cool and collected.
It is difficult to offend you. You can remain composed and unemotional.You are a great friend and lover. You don't demand much of others.While you are quiet, you have a subtle wit that your friends know well.
At your worst, you are lazy and unwilling to work at anything.You often get stuck in a rut, without aspirations or dreams.You can get too dependent on others, setting yourself up for abandonment.

What Temperment Are You?

__________________________________________________________

You Are Apple Pie

You're the perfect combo of comforting and traditional
Those who like you crave security

What Kind of Pie Are You?

_______________________________________________________________

Your Power Color Is Red-Orange

At Your Highest:

You are warm, sensitive, and focused on your personal growth.

At Your Lowest:

You become defensive and critical if you feel attacked.

In Love:

You are loyal - but you demand the respect you deserve.

How You're Attractive:

You are very affectionate and inspire trust.

Your Eternal Question:

"Am I Respected?"

What's Your Power Color?

________________________________________________________________

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.
You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think.
You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.
Some of your past dreams have disappointed you, but you don't let it get you down.

How Do You Live Your Life?

thats all i guess.. the others didnt seem too appealing (though i did most of them) to be put up.

2006-03-17T00:25:00.000+08:00

i've seen this place a thousand times
i've felt this all before
and every time you call
i've waited there as though you might not
call at all

i know this face i'm wearing now
i've seen this in my eyes
and though it feels so great, i'm still afraid
that you'll be leaving anytime

we've done this once and then you closed the door
don't let me fall again for nothing more

don't say you love me unless forever
don't tell me you need me if you're not gonna stay
don't give me this feeling, i'll only believe it
make it real or take it all away

i've caught myself smiling alone
just thinking of your voice
and dreaming of your touch is all too much
you know i don't have any choice

don't say you love me unless forever
don't tell me you need me if you're not gonna stay
don't give me this feeling, i'll only believe it
make it real or take it all away

we've done this once and then you closed the door
don't let me fall again for nothing more

don't say you love me unless forever
don't tell me you need me if you're not gonna stay
don't give me this feeling, i'll only believe it
make it real or take it all away...
say you love me

don't tell me you need me if you're not gonna stay
don't give me this feeling, i'll only believe it
make it real or take it all away

take it all away
or take it all away

2006-03-13T12:07:00.000+08:00

New week has started! Woohoo! Happenings during the weekend? Well it was the usual friday night with me, meeting the others for our weekly MoMo session =P And where we went on the following day was quite surprising. Met Jean for dinner @ Sakae Sushi, Wheelock Place, followed by a coffee session with a few others. So Brandon starts suggesting after 9pm that there was a 50% discount on cakes @ Cafe Cartel and asked to go. My gawd! We ended eating SooOOo much bread (its free flow) that the cakes seemed so secondary. LoL! Funny fun fun~ Jus when our pastry filled tummies had their fill, we ended up havin a drink at my old work place. Music Underground! Or Escapade, to be exact. Seems that there has been some internal managament conflict and mainside MU and escapade have been segragated. Sad case really.. Either way, we all had fun that night. Im sure of that =]

Oh Oh.. And i've got a new change of skin for my blog! Same concept as the recent one, only with a difference in theme.. Sunset! Wanted a simple black-white theme initially but i settled on something more soothing. For me that is. Picture isnt all that great but i'll find a nicer one to compliment it soon i guess.

Moving on.... been thinkin for a bit this week. Mainly bout my life.. and which direction to take in my life after my ORD. I've had my sights on working under the media line for quite some time already. Advertising? PR agency? Maybe even a job for news agencies, though its highly unlikely considering my qualifications. Talked about it to some friends and relatives recently when i caught up with them. And TBF, i was appalled by some of their suggestions. A colleague at work introduced me to the possibility for working as a property agent. Told me of the different aspects workin in that line and its quite appealing. My grand uncle mentioned 5mins of media work(esp in advertising) and moved on to working in the sales line. Heard one of my aunts is working as a banker broker.. How interesting really =] In the end, these are the three jobs that i will most probably try my hand at, in terms of personal gain, Interest and Money (in that order):

1. Air Steward
2. Media (Advertising or Broadcasting)
3. Property Agent for ERA

Guess thats how i'll try my career advancements. Another thought did come in just for fun.. Being a model! (dun puke pls.. lol) A photo model la! I dun have the height to be a catwalk model anyway.. heh. Sad but true! Aight.. think i've tortured you enough with my hyped-up talk.

Cheers~

2006-03-11T16:25:00.000+08:00

We got ServedMarv my cousin!ANDY! WazzZUUppp! Suave William
Cheryl and ade dancin~ heh
Me and gabMe bein all gay =XEd and moi
Mummy and me~
ZiYang & HuiBin

2006-03-05T06:02:00.000+08:00

go on ppl~ DO THIS!

http://kevan.org/johari?name=drugbeat

2006-03-02T16:00:00.000+08:00

"What are we?", he asked.
hesitation showed, "I dunno.."

"Undefined?"

"Yeah" ,an almost determined full-stop placed on that word.

And so the story continues.. Will hell break loose? Or the dreamer... wakes up to a startling nightmare of ones past.

What would you do, being on the receiving end of this scenario?

2006-02-28T08:59:00.000+08:00

Well Hello hello! Long time no post! OK.. just realised that i didn't really update much in terms of recent happenings in my life for quite a bit. What has been happening in Cal's Life? Hmmmm.... Where do i even start. Ah i know~

12th February 2006 - Sunday
Main event of the day? Corrinne May's Concert! Yup yup! Attendee's for the night were Marilyn, Gerald, Rachel, Danny and Pam. Oh yes, and undoubtedly, ME! Met up in town for a nice Japanese Dinner at Sakae Sushi before heading to the NUS Centre For the Arts. First thing that came into mind when i stepped into the performance hall was "Wow" Stage was set in a dimly lit setting with all her supporting orchestral players on standby, awaiting her appearance on stage. Somehow i already knew this was going to be an unforgettable peformance to me on that night.

And so, 5 minutes after i settled down with the others, she appeared. Clad with her red silky-like dress. And then her music. Can't really say much here cause i guess for that feeling to be expressed, you'd have to be there. All i can say now is that, after everythin', i can't wait for her next album to be released! (or is it out already? o.O)

So after the concert, MOST of us headed our way to Holland Village for some light snacks and a cuppa. The emo state somehow really did affect us in some way after the concert. Especially for Gerald, seeing someone that he was "thinkin" about during the concert. Ironic huh? Sometimes things just turn out the way you least expect it to be. All in all, it was still a good night. A memorable, emotional (both good and bad) and one of great company =]

DANCE SESSIONS
OK! Was havin a cuppa with my mates, at spins one day (thursday, 16th Feb, to be exact) and we were thinking.. Why not form a group for dance just like what we did in the past for para? Instead now it'll be more on Hip Hop. Wasn't sure at first if they were serious bout the whole thing but i was interested thats for sure. Group of friends, having dance sessions together, based on our common interest for dancing! Sounded good enough =] AND WE DID!

And thats how it started the next day. Dance sessions amongst our friends to try and come up with new moves together, synchronising them together (well.. TRYING to at least =P) and simply having fun doing so with each other! Though it may seem a lil silly to some of you, but hey, its the sense of common interest and also a chance to meet more often without gaining weight! Haha!

Aight.. Workload is piling up so off i go.. Ciao ppl~

2006-02-17T08:46:00.000+08:00

What happenes when one is given a chance to revisit the past? Get another shot for an opportunity missed? Then again, to revisit the same dangers and possible consequences that may occur again.. I'd like to post this question out to whoever reads this.. Would you, being the one given the pros and cons again, take the risk at having another go at your ,what your initial thought would be as your,happy-ending?

Ugh.. Anyway, I've reached the dead-broke stage in a seemingly fast duration this month. 6 days to be exact. Which leaves me....24 more days till i get my next pathetic allowance from the government. Man.. I wanna be out earning some proper money! Or at least studyin full time with a part time job or something.. it'll still be better than what im getting now thats for sure.. -.-

Just found out that my Final theory validity period has expired.. OMFG. Has it been that long already?!?! Shit.. means i'll have to rush lessons + my final theory test AGAIN. Bleah. HATE THIS.. whose to blame? ME.. lazy ol' me... K N S

2006-02-02T08:46:00.000+08:00

Happy Lunar new year ppl! While most of the chinese have been out collecting red packets, gambling to see how 'lethal' their luck is for the year 2006, i can say that i've only touched the gambling table for the total of 6rounds(blackjack) during CNY. Maybe cause i know my capital for this year isnt very big to begin with..

After much clubbin at Momo the past recent months, i've grown a lil bored of the place and guess what? I ended up goin back to Chinablack again after some time.. thrice to be exact. What i've derived? DEAD.. really becoming a dead place. outta 3 times i went there, only once did i see a substantial amount of people there. Guess im still stuck at Momo for clubbin.. Oh and Danny if u read this, im still waitin for MOS dude!

Work wise, im gonna be out-stationed at Home Team Academy for the following week which is near Choa Chu Kang btw.. So if anyone stays or happens to be in the area in the late afternoon during the weekdays, pls do gimme a call so that i wouldnt feel so arse fucked bout headin home from the land before time...

*Sigh* OK... on a more personal note. I dunno whats wrong with me, but it seems that im becoming more of a slop the past month.. Gained 3.5kg outta nowhere and now im getting all depressed and quick tempered. fuck. Last thing cal needs to be is quick tempered huh.. Best thing is that i dont even know why or what i would get angry about! Bleah. SOOO.. oh so thoughtful and carefree cal, has finally turned to become the angsty monster that promotes anti-socialism and grudges. How great. I need anger management.. OMG. maybe a mental hospital. Argh.. someone just shoot me pls.

2006-01-18T03:49:00.000+08:00

Haven't been updating recently have i? Haha.. Don't think anyone has been checking on my blog as well so oh well, i just finished my print media project and im left with approx. 3 hours left sleep before i head to work..

ah yes. work again.

Chinese New Year is comin~ wouldn't be getting much since my family has cut the amount of visitng places throughout the years.. lookin forward to the holidays more than the money missed out.

yes im lying. so sue me.

To all who've had a rocky start for the year 2006, no fret yea? Things always get better =] somehow.. it just does. Dont let yourself be put down! Ok so maybe im telling this to myself more than others. But doesn't mean im not wishin it for my dear friends right? heh. Sigh~ Life can really be a bitch sometimes.. shibal

2006-01-03T11:22:00.000+08:00

I awoke from my slumber this morning and it dawned on me... Christmas is almost gone. Its already a new year.. 2006... My my. And im still here thinking to myself if life would be any kinder to me. Pathetic..

Well, at least i managed to get 2 extended weekends thanks to Christmas and New Years.. Now its only Hari Raya and CNY left.. whats there to enoy when you're broke?!?! -.- Argh.. And so the new cycle begins.. Same ol' brand new problems arisin and how i would overcome them.

New years resolution: To get past my advanced diploma in one piece.

2005-12-27T10:57:00.000+08:00

Winter and carols gone by, has only left me nothing, but a bitter taste of whats to come into a bitter new year. Cheers.

I feel it coming real soon..

Santa Clause is~ ....DEAD....

2005-12-20T09:30:00.000+08:00

Damn right!.. We buy presents ourselves. Who needs an unappealing fat man in red velvet goin "HohOho" for 5bucks an hour to cheer us up? Aight Suckaz! We make it happen! Christmas is the day after tomm! OMG right.. so near! Yet. No plans for sat.. Have yet to decide on what to do for christmas eve... Hmm.. Lemme see. Have yet to find out where my friends are headed to on the eve. Watch movie? zz.. Countdown at some party? Midnight Mass at Novena church? Hmmm.. My mum asked me to join her for a late evening mass with her somewhere else.. then head for dinner, followed by clubbing with her and co. (by that meaning her colleagues). Should i? *Shrugz*

How i wish Christmas was a snowy event here. Freezing the shit outta my jocks, walkin out in the streets exposin my hairy, YET SEXY, Legs with berms. Sleeveless top exposing the EVER appealing wavy arms (by that i mean u see the wave effect when u hit my flesh) covering the forestation, i call, my pits. Drinkin Heavenly silver Beer in one hand, the other, readjusting our proud manhood, thats already half frost-frozen to the inner zip. Somethin id like to feel in a winter though i doubt it to be anything near memorable nor orgasmic.

2005-12-14T10:59:00.000+08:00

Christmas shopping is 95% DONE... and same goes for my salary this month -.- Bleah. I swear i've never explored Orchard Rd in such depth like the past week when i was searchin for presents! To Fiz and Marilyn who accompanied me to shop for the stuff, THANK YOU! xD
Shopping alone to me is always a bore.. luckilly for company like them. Esp Marilyn since she craps along with the best =P Eats along with the best too~ SAKE r0x0rs man! Haha!

Was tryin to wrap some of the presents last night in my room and it, being the first time im trying my hands on wrapping, made a blunder of things! I swear the scotch tape had some grudge against me.. always tangling and i could never get the length of the wrapping right. Bleah. Think i did a relatively good job in the end though =] Of Mummifying the gifts that is.

Lemme see what else i would need... 1 more gift.. 6 more cards? and hell lotsa wrapping paper.. LOL!

What hit song of 2005 are you?

2005-12-10T04:56:00.000+08:00

Your 2005 Song Is

Don't" Cha by the Pussycat Dolls
"Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like meDont cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me"
What happens in 2005, stays in 2005!

What Hit Song of 2005 Are You?

Christmas wants!

2005-12-08T10:42:00.000+08:00

Wishlist time! Hur.. OK~ Top 10 Things i want : (in random order)

Sense of direction in life! (no one said they had to be materialistic right?)
The New Issey Miyake fragrance (its fruity-like! hehe.. orange coloured bottle)
New Working shoes (black)
Pair of Hush puppy slip-on shoes (brown)
More business pants , Black & striped ( i only have 2 pairs now)
White based long-sleeve Shirt! (dunno why but for me, its either too white = me lookin bigger, or not nice at all. bleah)
Pair of Levi's Jeans
Nano IPOD
A winning lottery ticket (hah!)

AND.....

10. A loving girlfriend (yea keep dreamin cal)

Well there you have it! Mainly stuff i want are clothes la.. and the diff shoes that im aiming for. haha! Guess the main thing is that i have a good time this year end.. Oh yeah. And if anyone can give me items 9 or 10, pls tell me asap. Thank you many many! LoL!

Lost and Found CD

2005-12-06T10:35:00.000+08:00

Hmmm.. was searchin thru my closet last night and i found an unopened CD that hasn't been open for YEARS! Thing is i dont remember buying the album before.. but i know i listened to this singer in the past when my god bro intro-ed me to his music. So yeah anyway im listenin to the CD in my office now. Wonderin who??

Album : ANTISHRIST SVPERSTAR
Artist: Marilyn Manson

Yeap. Guess i was too scared at that time to open it. Like i was gonna get possesed by some spirit within the CD or somethin.. heh. "The Exorcism of Callistus Ong" No.1 movie in Singapore for 2006! =X Actually now that i think of it, i do miss some of his songs! Like "Sweet Dreams", "Rock is Dead" (Matrix Theme song), and a few others that i cant remember anymore. Think i'll go hunt for them when i get home tonight. Hehe..

slumps

2005-12-05T10:51:00.000+08:00

Weekends pass pretty fast duncha think? While the weekdays are getting severely slow.. Only thing i feel like doing today is lazing at home, getting some nice sleep and watchin tv or playing some games, particularly an online RPG game called Silk Road. looks pretty fun! Thanks bran =]

Anyway, been doin quite a bit of WINDOW shoppin the last 2 days (no money la =x) and as i got hungry, i finally managed to eat at this traditional looking Japanese restaurant at Far East Plaza! Man it was good! Good service, partly cause its a small place. The Sashimi was Deliciously orgasmic man i swear! Haha.. BIG and THICK! *slurps* LMAO.. dun think dirty pls. And i had sake to go with it as well! Wonderful wonderful feeling!

Ended up going to Cine for Lime Magazine's birthday event , Sonic Bang! Tons of local bands, project superstars, and asian artists entertainin the night away! Slack as it may have been, it was really good to have been there.. Performances i particulary liked were Electrico, the project superstars AND (this is my fave) Wicked Aura! Nothin that night came close to the rythm and hype it brought to the audience (to me that is).

Oh yea... and i was called La bi xiao xin by one of marilyn's friends, Ah mop. -.- I SoooOOo swear im gonna make my eyebrows THINNER the next time i do my brows.. GgrRrr! AIght.. getting quite sleepy at my desk right now.. Gonna look for some corner for me to stoop and hide while snatching some shuteye! Till then, this has been Cal - Keith (if u dun understand y, it wasnt meant for you. lol) speaking. Ciao!

2005-12-01T14:41:00.000+08:00

Argh.. no money for christmas shopping! This is really not good -.- Ah heck it. Will make do with what i have then.. Jus wanna enjoy this christmas.. Really enjoy it =]

Just got back from SPF's 50th Anniversary performance at the auditorium earlier. They played a medley of christmas songs! Was so nice! Not amazing but hell.. captivating nonetheless. Been stayin at home more often as of late. Mainly cause of the korean drama series my mum bought.. lol! Titled "Love Story Harvard". Not bad at all really =D

This end year MUST be good! I will not allow it to be hindered by anything.. this year had been really full of ups and downs.. Let me end this year nicely pls??? Promise i'll be good...

christmas jeer

2005-11-28T08:49:00.000+08:00

Christmas is coming! Everywhere i go, i hear the old repeated (but not boring) christmas songs aired. SIGH~ the festive season. Damn. Have not planned what to do for christmas yet.. not that it needs prior planning of course. Just that i feel it its gonna be another un-fulfilled celebration for me. Ya know.. havin so much expectations for a certain event? Yet also half-expecting some dissapointment that might come along.

CAN I RUN AWAY FOR CHRISTMAS?!?! LIKE REALLY REALLY FAR??

Ok ignore that. -.- Loneliness is a killer. Bleah.

Know the feeling of being with that special someone underneath the mistletoe, enjoying the moment, just the two of you? Man.. I want that again! Christmas seems the best when i was in my childhood, now that i think of it.. Jus happilly opening presents at home, happy with EVERYTHING u got cause there were no expectations. I remember working at MU on christmas eve 2 yrs ago.. Now that was somethin to remember. ha! No expectations again cause i already knew i was working. But the customers and fellow colleagues made it a WONDERFUL night! Sprayin of the fake snow and huggin like everyone! (includin the babe customers) and of course the countdown! Really hope this year would be something near it at least.. with all the expectations i have, hopefully it wont turn out as a dissapointment personally for me. Well im outta here. Ciao!

ya know?

2005-11-28T08:28:00.000+08:00

Yo! What a weekend.. Well lets see.. Oh! I managed to finally do my eyebrows! Well.. some of it.. haha.. Made it neater but its no where thinner by any means -.- So i guess i'll have to make another trip to the shop this weekend for my second round of perspiring, eyebrow-plucking session.

Met Fiz yesterday at Cine around 4pm (sorry bro.. heh) though i was supposed to meet him much earlier in the afternoon. Went for coffee @ (where else) spinelli then we headed to the arcade @ Cine for our usual KOF bout. haha! Shit bro ur jus as smelly.. -.- You wait! I shall find a fool proof way of beatin ur ass! *&#^@*&

Anyway, went again for another coffee session with Marilyn and her cousin later that evening and we headed to the Taka garden to slack as we boozed out night and weekend away.. Honestly, i kinda miss these things. Jus chillin out in the open air, playin silly games (not KINGS), singing our hearts out (in which, i could only sing oldies.. ha) and bitchin bout life and each other =P

INFECTION

2005-11-25T06:22:00.000+08:00

lyrics and english translation of "infection" by Chihiro Onitsuka, below.
A twisted way of expressing her weakness and response towards her love (or the lack of it) and how it eats her up inside. Thats my opinion anyway. Really feel for this song when i hear it.

09. infection
Lyrics by: Onitsuka Chihiro
Romaji by: cori
"Nan toka umaku kotaenakucha"

Soshite kono shita ni zassou ga fuete iku
Kodou wo yokogiru kage ga
Mata dareka no kamen wo hagitotte shimau

In the night
I sit down as if I'm dead

* Bakuha shite tobichitta
Kokoro no hahen ga
Sokorajuu de kirakira hikatte iru kedo
Itsu no ma ni atashi wa
Konna ni yowaku natta no darou

Ashi ga sukude shimau koto mo
Ki ni naranai furi wo shite iru no

Atashi no oroka na yamai wa
Dandan hidoku natte iku bakari

In the night
I realize this infection

* repeat

Arayuru chiisana netsu ni
Obiehajimete iru atashi ni
Kachime nado nai noni
Me wo samasanakucha

Bakuha shite tobichitta
Kokoro no hahen ga
Sokorajuu de kirakira hikatte iru kedo
Itsu no ma ni atashi wa
Konna ni yowaku natta no

Bakuha shite tobichitta
Kokoro no hahen ga
Hahen ga hahen ga sokorajuu de

Itsu no ma ni atashi wa
Konna ni yowaku natta no darou

_________________________

"I need to say something good in reply"
and then the weeds on my tongue multiply.

the shadow cutting across my heartbeat
peels away someone's mask again.

In the night
I sit down as if I'm dead.

my heart blows up, and the pieces flying everywhere glitter
but when did I become this weak?

I pretend that I don't notice that my legs have given way.

My foolish sickness just gets worse and worse.

In the night
I realize this infection

my heart blows up, and the pieces flying everywhere glitter
but when did I become this weak?

I'm beginning to be scared of many kinds of tiny fevers
though I don't have a hope of winning
I must awaken from this.

my heart blows up, and the pieces flying everywhere glitter
but at some point I became this weak.

my heart blows up and the pieces, pieces flying everywhere...

when did I become this weak?

Translated By: Brian Stewart & Takako SakumaTranslator's

2005-11-24T10:48:00.000+08:00

Wow im back! Been wantin to blog since last week but was too tired, busy or plain lazy to. Funny thing is, now that im here, i have no idea what to blog about. All the things i wanted to say about dont seem worth mentioning anymore!

My eyes are easilly afected sleep and smoke recently.. it wouldnt bother me in the past but now it'll tear or at least, feel like it whenever my eyes are tired (going to sleep or lack of sleep) Hope its nothing serious..

Harry Potter and the Exorcism of Emily Rose... Both shows that i have yet to watch and it seems the whole world has watched it already! -.- Anyone who hasnt watched any of these shows TELL ME PLS!

Song of the day : Destiny's Child - Stand Up For Love
(to carrie who said it sounds like a national song -.-, itsss NOOooooT~! Oh and remind me to send you another song when i seeya online)

Have you ever?

2005-11-14T23:21:00.000+08:00

taken from danny's blog =P A questionaire of gawd knows how many questions -.-

Have you ever?

(X) Smoked a cigarette.
(X) Smoked a cigar.
(X) Made out with a member of the same sex. (Danny & Elmo <3!)
( ) Crashed a friend's car.
( ) Stolen a car.
(X) Been in love
(X) Been dumped.
(X ) Shoplifted.
( ) Been fired.
(X) Been in a fist fight.
(X) Snuck out of your parents' house.
(X) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back. (hell yes...)
( ) Been arrested.
(X) Made out with a stranger.
( ) Gone on a blind date.
(X) Lied to a friend.
( ) Had a crush on a teacher.
(X) Skipped school.
(X) Slept with a co-worker.
( ) Seen someone die.
( ) Been to Korea.(i soo wish..*sigh*)
( ) Been to Mexico.
(X) Been on a plane.
(X ) Thrown up in a bar.
( ) Purposely set a part of yourself on fire.
(X) Eaten sushi.
( ) Been snowboarding.
(X) Been moshing at a concert.
( ) Been in an abusive relationship.
(X) Taken painkillers.
(X) Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by.
(X) Made a snow angel.( when i was in pri3!)
(X) Had a tea party.
( ) Flown a kite.
(X) Built a sand castle.
(X) Gone puddle jumping.
( ) Played dress up.
(X) Jumped into a pile of leaves.
( ) Gone sledding.
(X) Cheated while playing a game.
(X) Been lonely.
(X) Fallen asleep at work/school.(one time too many!)
( ) Used a fake ID.(didnt need to -.-)
(X) Watched the sun set.
(X) Felt an earthquake.
( ) Touched a snake.(not now, not ever!)
(X) Been tickled.
(X) Been robbed.
( ) Robbed someone.
(X) Been misunderstood.
( ) Pet a reindeer/goat.
(X) Won a contest.
(X) Ran a red light.
( ) Been suspended from school.
(X) Had detention.
( ) Been in a car accident.
( ) Had braces. =D
(X) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night.(im not proud of it.. trust me)
(X) Had deja vu.
(X) Danced in the moonlight.
(X) Hated the way you look. (always)
(X) Witnessed a crime.
(X) Pole danced.
(X) Questioned your heart.
(X) Been obsessed with Post-It notes.
(X) Squished barefoot through the mud.
(X) Been lost.
(X) Been to the opposite side of the country. (not vey big is it? lol)
(X) Swam in the ocean.( with a dingy =X)
(X) Felt like dying.
(X) Cried yourself to sleep.
(X) Played cops and robbers.
(X) Recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers.
(X) Sung karaoke.(hardly.. but yes)
(X) Paid for a meal with only coins.
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't.
( ) Made prank phone calls.
(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose.
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue.
( ) Kissed in the rain.(cant remember such an incident.. gotta try one day!)
( ) Written a letter to Santa Claus.
( ) Been kissed under mistletoe. (*weeps*)
(X) Watched the sun set with someone you cared about.
(X) Blown bubbles.
( ) Made a bonfire on the beach.
( ) Crashed a party.
( ) Have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people.
(X) Gone roller-skating / blading.(ONCE! 2 weeks ago in fact =P)
(X) Had a wish come true.
( ) Worn pearls.
( ) Jumped off a bridge.
( ) Screamed "penis" in class.
( ) Ate dog food.
( ) Told a complete stranger you loved them.
(X) Sang in the shower.
( ) Have a little black dress.
( ) Had sex in a park.
(X) Had a dream that you married someone.
(X) Glued your hand to something.
( ) Got your tongue stuck to a pole.
( ) Kissed a fish.
( ) Worn the opposite sexes clothes.
( ) Been a cheerleader.
(X) Sat on a roof top.
( ) Had sex at a church.
(X) Screamed at the top of your lungs.
(X) Done a one-handed cartwheel.DID and fell =X
(X) Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours.
(X) Stayed up all night.
( ) Not taken a shower for a week.
( ) Pick and ate an apple right off the tree.
( ) Climbed a tree.
( ) Had a tree house.
(X) Are scared to watch scary movies alone.(keep ur comments to urself on this one -.-
(X) Believe in ghosts.
( ) Have more then 30 pairs of shoes.
(X) Worn a really ugly outfit to school.
( ) Gone streaking.
( ) Played ding-dong-ditch(What?!)
(X) Played chicken.
(X) Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on.
( ) Been told you're hot by a complete stranger. (ok now im really sad)
( ) Broken a bone.
(X) Been easily amused.
( ) Caught a fish then ate it.
( ) Made porn.
( ) Caught a butterfly.
(X) Laughed so hard you cried.
( ) Cried so hard you laughed.
(X) Had someone moon/flash you.(courtesy of chun.. jus my undies though!)
(X) Cheated on a test.
(X) Forgotten someone's name.
(X) Slept naked.
( ) French braided someone's hair.
( ) Gone skinny dipping in a pool.
( ) Been kicked out of your house.

Well there u have it. Im feeling quite demoralised as of now.. *laughs at myself*

2005-11-14T10:53:00.000+08:00

Monday again and im back at work! OMG... well, glad for a few things! First thing is that exams are over! For now at least.. Secondly is that i finally met up with Fiz again after SOOoooo LONG! Good to have seen ya again bro! here's a pic of 8 of us at spins:

i look like shit in the pic but what the hell.. memories man!

This weekend was nuts i tell ya.. clubbing night after night! Went to Black on Fri where we experimented with our dance to make it better. Elmo joined in the fun too~ Haha! Learnt some of Jessie's Korean Hiphop moves as well! Sae Bom Jang! haha.. Left about 4+ that day i think?

Then it was off to MoMo the next night! Had to worry bout getting in again but luckily i managed to get in without any problems (again this is cause of my looks... im CERTAIN of it -.- ) Again it was quite fun~ Had most of the old Icy ppl and others around.. All of us makin a fool of ourselves by dancin 'happily' and all =P

Oh yea~ I know im abit slow on this but hey! The christmas lightings are on! ha! =X You know the funny thing about the lightings for me? All these years i never really bothered to look at them.. Last night when i was crossing the bridge to take my bus home, i saw the lights.. and it felt so different.. enchanting is really the word. As though the colours of red,green and blue had a story to tell. One of romance? Togetherness with cheer as a community? Anguish? *shruGz* Maybe its jus about life. How colourful it can be in the darkest hours. Hmmm.. sounds good. lol

ANYWAY.. Went to Far East just after most of them left yesterday and was plannin to get my haircut the shop was closed.. Thanks Akito! For accompanyin me that is.. though i didnt get to do my hair -.- so i decided to make a quick list of things i wanna get done during this week (i hope)

Things to do :
1) Haircut
2) Trim eyebrows (dun laugh)
3) Suntan(yes i didnt go to sentosa again)

examinal diarohea

2005-11-09T14:34:00.000+08:00

Supposedly a tough week for me now but im takin things too easilly.. Darn! Whats with me?! Finished the first of three exams on Monday.. Thing now is that the other two are back to back! First is Public Relations which is tommorrow, i will have to read up on a few case scenarios. Not so bad i suppose. Next is the paper on Friday which is the Killer... Mass Media Research. Bleah. Next paper on Public Relations is tommorrow afternoon and i cant absorb anything from my notes! *sigh* Gotta come to work early tomm to help out with the registration for one of the courses held by my division as well. Im plannin to just show up to help for that and then go back home again to study and do some last minute revision before i head for the exam..

Soo many things i wanna or must do on Friday~! Meeting Fiz for lunch and coffee together with Elmo. Man im lookin forward to that =] Hoping to watch a movie (Exorcism of Emily Rose) and then maybe club? Gonna be spendin a bit of money but hell with that, im gonna enjoy myself!

Note to myself: MUST MUST go to SENTOSA this weekend!
Didn't manage to go last week.. Mainly cause i was feelin too damn slack to do anything.. Dunno why but my tan seems to go off quite fast.. half a week later and i seem so YELLOW again.. Lookin at my hands now and feelin so damn turned off by the colour.

Aight.. gotta continue my work for now.
Ciao ppl

troubled

2005-11-05T02:55:00.000+08:00

so many things i wanna blog about.. so many things on my mind. But i cant. Sigh.

November rantings

2005-11-02T08:55:00.000+08:00

Been a week since my last post and funny thing is, i wanted to blog so many things recently but didnt bring myself to do so. Ask me why quick! *Ahem* ok i shall tell you.. Laziness! And maybe some mental blocks everytime i wanna type them out -.- Its a new Month! Woopee~ November is here and in ANOTHER months time, i would have served a year in National Service! (which means i have another year to get through) Darn.

Yesterday was Deepavali and i had my very first attempt on Roller Blades! AHaha.. Man the way my legs would split and me not bein able to close them back was kinda stupid. Proud of one thing though.. Managed to "Move around" without falling yet =D Ok.. Thanks to Steve, Gerald and Wee Lian for teachin me the fundemantals! Other than that, i was cycling around for a bit. Kinda forgot how many babes can be found in East Coast. haha! Guess my mindset have been stuck on the "Sentosa" Image for a while already. After leavin the place, we headed to Changi village where we ate the boneless chicken rice there.. My god.. Most of the food was already "sold out". I tell ya.. making a fuss really helps sometimes =D Managed to squeeze 3 more dishes outta them. ha! After that, Me and Gerald went to Steve's house to play Mahjong till 2am before we headed home.

Mid week now, workin on a Wednesday..Bloody hell, first thing i stepped into office and i hear my SD givin shit about me not following orders correctly bout sending a file. @&^%#&@ First things first, You didnt give me such instructions! And hell, dont put the file into the "OUT" tray AFTER telling me to make you a photocopyof the segments inside!Bleah. Still can shout that i didnt hear your instructions and say that im blur? Fark man.. u shout everything clearly enough for the whole office to hear. How could i not hear your instructions! -.-

Goin to Black tonight and Danny's place tomm. Sounds quite good actually! Just thinkin what else to do on Friday after work and the whole weekend -.- Im SoooOooOo BROKE! Wanna get a haircut, go shopping for clothes, watch movies and shit. Need ta repay my colleague 50bucks as well. Damnit. Cant do any of it till the 12th.. Ahhhh~ I HATE/DESPISE NS life!!

Memories are good arent they? Been wanting to print every pic in my phone that i held dear to me. Which in result, brought out the photographer in me. LOL! Know of those machines at 7-11's or at photoshop outlets like kodak? They print out digital images from your phone when u send it via bluetooth or infrared. Why i like it cause you can choose the format of how ur photos are developed! Planning to get LOADS of pics and paste them all in my office partition wall and at home =D

2005-10-26T16:29:00.000+08:00

I was so right.. shouldnt have gone for my IPPT earlier this morning. LoL! Failed in the expected stations *bleah* Went home to change and left for Orchard to look for "stuff". Walked half of orchard with Ben(my Police Academy Buddy) before we decided to head back to Novena. YES.. i'm at work now. Sigh.. Was seriously thinking of taking half day off for today so i could rest. But we're short-handed already as it is in the office so i guess i'd better not play bastard.

Plannin to leave work @ 6 on the dot later for Candice's birthday. Hope im dressed ok.. haven tried my formal shoes with jeans before. Whats worst, the shirt im wearing is one that i haven't touched for almost a year already.. it looks baggy on me! (does that mean i slimmed down? haha) All of em will be meeting at spins later SooooOoo.. to the birthday girl(doubt she'll see this but what the heck):

CAND the MAN! Happy 18th Birthday~!!! Finally legal to club at most places from now on.. haha! May u not be so suay at "Kings" with me =P (i know u like it secretly) Wahaha... Heres to more fun times ahead! Hope you'll have fun tonight..keke. Cheers in advance!

RAnt RANT

2005-10-25T09:34:00.000+08:00

I so hate this com! Blogged yest but the com hanged on me when it was in the uploading stage! Grrr... ah screw that.. cant be fcuked bout it. Its a Tuesday! Yay~ why is it a good day? Its not. But at least its one more day less to the weekend. I got my IPPT tommorrow and i DUN WANNA GO! No confidence la... go there just to make myself lose face >.< Failed cause of my standing broad jump half a year ago.. now its gonna much worse cause of my lack of training.. haiz. should jus take mc =X

I bought the book "Atlantis" bout a month+ ago, all ready to settle in and finish a good book. Guess what.. up till today, im only about *starts counting* 20 pages in? Hah! Just realised that yesterday after work when i was waiting for Elmo to arrive for our coffee session.. And to think i have another 3-4 more books that are in mind. Whoever reads this during office hours and are bored as hell like me, pls just tag me! or email me even! i'll willingly give my working email to you all! but not so directly through my post la. OH~ sms will be more than welcome though it actually costs money =P

2005-10-24T16:40:00.000+08:00

Hmmm.. Sitting in office now. Seriously stress when my Senior Director is in a rush for time.. Wanna do my job properly also got problem. Haiz~ Well at least the hectic part for today is over =D Have to tahan till friday before Eileen comes back from her course.. then im back to my desk! (with all my games and songs waiting) hehe.. Gotta go down to City Hall later to pass my classmate's Project results and notes to her FRIEND -.- (called 5mins ago said she couldnt make it and that her friend would help her take it) BEST.

Oh oh! Yesterday was really really fun =D Definitely cause of the company more than anything else.. lemme see.. there was a total of 9 of us there i think. Me, Gerald, Bran, Jessie, Icah, CC, Lings, Candice and Danny! Haven had such a number together at the beach for a long time already~ Seperated into 2 groups after we left the beach. Me,Danny, Gerald, Lings and Candice went to eat the muslim food at Rivervalley(Yumm..~) then we headed to Danny's hse for a drinking and "Truth or Dare" session.. Though it was nothing but truths all night. LoL! Danny if u see this, Man i love ur balcony! Really sets the mood! Especially with the Sentimental songs in the background. okok anyhoo, i got a whole night of doing NOTHING after i drop off the stuff later. Argh.. *prays someone i know is havin coffee @ spin*

15mins more till im finished with work for today!! w00t!!! Time to pack up!

2005-10-17T10:54:00.000+08:00

OMG.. i Dread being back in sg for some reason.. SigH~ Never thought i'd have so much fun within the short time that i was at Genting. It was so carefree, exciting and peaceful! I swear i need ta go on more vacations with friends.. First time i actually stepped into a casino! Learnt how to play roulette there.. Oh man is it addictive! Lost quite a bit on the tables but all in all it was still fun =]

Highlight of the trip? Outdoor theme park! Haha.. The rides were great! Took lotsa photos and sat on the rides a few times at one go =P Got soaking wet by the time we left that day for dinner.. (Some ride that splashes your ride into the water) Cant post any pics at the moment cause well.. the cams are with two diff ppl. One with my Thomas' gf and the other with Lik Keong's Dad. Guess i'll have to wait for a while before i can go for a trip like that again..

Have two birthdays comin up in abt 2 weeks time.. Die... dunno how to stinge my money till then >.< AND present this sat! *gulp* Help help!!

2005-10-14T14:09:00.000+08:00

Aight! I'll be away from Singapore this weekend! Tonight in fact! w00t w00t~ Where am i goin? Malaysia, Genting Highlands... haha! Anti-climax aint it? Oh well, at least im out of singapore for a while.. a very short while.. Up till now i kept thinking on what am i gonna do there if im not gonna gamble much. Watch a movie? Go to the theme park? Sleep with the very cool weather? Oh yeah that sounds good =p

Something else i have to do before i leave for the trip though.. Which is my group presentation tonight! Im so nervous... my god.. cant even remember what to say NOW , not to say the least, tonight -.- Well guess i'll just have to go through with it either way right? Wish me luck peeps.. hopefuly in winning money at Genting as well.. haha! Back on Sunday night.. May i be a rich man by then =P (malaysian millionaire? lol) Adios!

2005-10-10T10:41:00.000+08:00

Oh oh! My day didnt turn out to be that bad in the end! haha.. Lings, bran and jared met me before we headed for Vaune's Chalet at Downtown East in the night. Saw Jo after such a long time and honestly, she looks better now.. Got to know some very friendly friends of theirs as well. Other than that, i had to french, kiss, dance all in the game called "King". Funny :P Some other relationship problems "happened" amongst a handful of them. Mainly bout? Hush now.. cant say it out loud now can i?

Bout 5-6 years ago, a friend named Joyz mentioned to me that i looked like a 32 yr old, a father of two kids! Fark... imagine i was only 14 at that time -.- Last night at the Chalet, the record was broken.. LoL!(why am i laughin?) Jo said i looked like a 42 yr old with 2 kids! So im wonderin... the hell did these two kids come from?! Then another thought, Whos' the Mrs? o.O Kinda sad i look so old.. damn! So what is it.. my dressing? hair? face? (ugh) voice? or option E.. all of the above.. *sobs* OK. New aim in life. Look Young! or at least.. try to look young..

Another problem jus occured to me. Im supposedly going on a trip to Genting this coming weeked. Plan was to leave on Friday right after work. I already informed my lecturer for Sat that i wouldnt be able to present my project this week. So.. sounds good right? Yea great! Only that i forgot i had one more presentation on Friday.. Harder now cause its a group presentation. Arghhh.. didily didily doo.. what am i to do? Take MC and present my part of the project alone? Forgo the trip and present? Suggestions anyone? Aight, gotta get some work done.. -zombie goes back to work-

zzz

2005-10-09T10:28:00.000+08:00

Ok i so hate this. Sunday morning now.. all packed to go sentosa and what do i get.. rainy weather -.- How am i gonna get my tan like that then?? sigh.. Goin to vaune's chalet with Lings later so i guess theres no other option out. Boohoo..

Oh yea.. yay! I submitted 2 outta 3 projects due already! Just one last one to go for this semester =P Which is the hardest to do so far.. Any generous help offered would be gladly accepted btw.. haha. Other than that, i guess its just my group presentation for Public Relations this coming Friday. *shivers* i hate presentations.. balls shrink, i get tongue tied, hands shake non-stop when im holding my cue cards.. not to mention i keep repeating myself and you'll always hear me saying the word "Basically" alot! I hope that doesnt happen though.. The group im with are one of the most gifted people when it comes to speech and stage presence.. really hope i dont ruin it for them =
Think i said that i wanted to lessen my clubbin recently.. Well, obviously my body has a mind of its own. LoL! Went to Black like what.. 3 times this week? Ladies night + friday + sat, which was last night. Could it be because i wanna see her? Though she's with her new guy? Basically im fucking myself up the arse arent i? In the end i'll just lose my mood to club after seeing both of them all lovey-dovey together.. Honestly thats fine with me as long i dun see that kinda stuff.. but i miss her. Really i do.. *slaps myself* Ok cal wake up. -.- Just hope she's doin fine in her relationship. Alright.. im jus gonna basically download some songs and drown myself with 100plus and intoxicate my lungs with nicotine. bye!

2005-10-04T11:31:00.000+08:00

w00t! This week's supposedly hectic for me with all my project submission date lines reachin and me, not havin started any of them other than the one thats due tommorrow =P Why am i not stressed??? Weird character i am... got another 2 submission due later this week and here i am chillin out in the office stoning, listening to Corrinne May songs (I sooo love her songs *sigh*) and updating my blog. Ok maybe the only thing thats makin me a lil nervous is the thought of presenting the project in front of the whole class in 2 weeks time >.< Oh yeah.. i've been SITTING alot the past 2 days.. played volleyball @ Sentosa with Gerald on Sunday, that arse kept making do funny stunt just to reach out for the ball =p Now my buttocks feels like the baggage on a plane.. Fragile.

Anyway, im leavin for Police Cantonment Complex soon to submit my exit permit and update my passport. Im goin to Genting Highlands next week! To do what? I dunno man.. i aint gambling thats for sure so i'll have to find some other ways of self entertainment. Was thinking of travelling down to KL to club on one of the nights but it seems the others are simply too casino minded or just not supporting the idea of going. Guess i'll have to plan another trip in the near future just to go there and club and get drunk and eat good food =P

Met up with Joreen, Cerina and Angela for coffee recently.. Its been such a long time since i last went for a chit chat session with my ex classmates! Think i should really look up more friends that i havent met for some time.. Hopefully some of them wouldnt be too caught up with their bf/gf's to catch up for some coffee.

Facing reality

2005-10-02T02:35:00.000+08:00

Just came back from Chinablack.. one of the earliest times i left the place. Why? well.. found out a piece of news that i should've been expecting for quite a while. Guess it was just a matter of time. I dunno what im feeling right now really.. angry? sad? or happy for her? i just cant place it.. i just hope she'll be happy. For once in this 9, coming to 10 months, i have no choice but to face reality. I hate it. For her sake, i hope he wouldnt turn abusive.. something i said earlier that might happen to her and i take it all back.. but i doubt i have the courage and capability to continue the so-called friendship with her.. I'll still reply when and if she ever messages me. But thats it. I gotta distance myself no matter what.. For my sake.

New skin!

2005-09-30T11:18:00.000+08:00

Hows this new skin i jus changed to?? Pls tag some shit out ya? Hahaha...
Guess it was time i did something to my blog anyway.
Anyone thinkin of going (or already is) to Michael Bubble's concert on the 10th?? I so wanna catch it.. Been listenin to Corrine May's music ALOT recently. Thanks to my friend at work, Gerald, who introduced her music to me =] Funny how after i start listening to her, i find more and more friends who like her as well.

Got chocolate?

2005-09-15T15:48:00.000+08:00

Friggin' tired today!! Worst i've felt in office so far.. Seriously dragging myself about the place. Shows i really have to club less and get more sufficient rest! 2 1/2hrs of sleep is definintely not gonna work for me. Good thing for the chocolates i have with me to keep me awake and satisfied =x I know its sinful but hey, indulgence is a must in life at times =P

Aaron (my senior @ work) came back to office today after clearing his ORD leave! Yeap.. he has his pink IC back! He wouldnt be able to check his Email here so i guess i'll just thank him here later in this post =] Oh yeah if ppl are wonderin why im this tired? Went out to have dinner with my mum and my best buds (who so happen to be in the same birthday period as me) for a mini japanese feast cause it was my chinese birthday. Funny i mentioned "Mini" cause i felt like exploding after that meal.. Brandon had a so-called quarrel with Jessie last night.. A thought came to my mind while it happened.. He had the same reasons that would've made me furious as well. Lack of trust on our part and the lack of initiative to inform on the other half's part. Anyway that was jus a side track.. What we ended up talking about was that although both of us had the same thinking to similar scenario's, our reactions would be the total opposite. Bran would be the volcano type that explodes easilly. Me? More like a sponge.. i absorb whatever feelings i have of that incident and just try to keep it with me, hoping for something miraculous to happen.. I wished i was more like him cause he could express him anger out and also make things clear to the other party of what he didnt like. Then again, he wanted to be like me! Which is makin me think.

Okok it may not make much sense to anyone. Sorry for puttin you guys through all that torture. Guess i shall end it here then? Heh..

To Aaron Hia:

Dude! Happy ORD man.. finally 2 years has been served and u can get back on track with your own personal goals in life. Getting a senior like you has been a blessing for me. Really gotta thank ya for helpin me along the way to orientate myself with the office duties! You know, your happy go lucky nature of yours, combined with Gerald's, has never failed to lighten up my mood at work =] Cheers man! And remember to meet up with us once in a while aight? All the best to your studies as well =] Oh yeah.. 24th! Be there!

Demise

2005-08-26T10:40:00.000+08:00

And so it starts. Where my one-way path reaches to a stop and im forced into a crossroad. Not one of my decision but rather, one that im forced to accept. Finally plucked up enough courage a few nights ago and asked her. Well, answer wasnt very good. Still, i'll live. Just wondering right now how badly we'll drift. I know she still misses her ex. Have been, always been. Guess i only wanna ask her one more question. But i doubt i'll get to do that. Anyway, i've Been distracted since that night and have been walkin around pretty zombified. Sigh.. Working used to be a place of escape for me in the past when i was still at Music Underground. Now that im at MHA, i dun move around as much and definitely have more time to slack. Thinking of personal stuff is really depressing sometimes. Makes me wonder will i be happy or achieve anything in the future.

Hmmm.. Just noticed that i have no class tonight! Wee~ Guess its a blessing in disguise? Considering that i have my face lookin all peeled like one of the ghosts in "The Maid" -.- What to do tonight...sigh

2005-08-16T12:09:00.000+08:00

Men in general are said to have an enormous ego that can barely fit into their heads. Now im questioning the same thing that are propped on the shoulders of women. Only difference? They'd call it dignity.. Bleah. Yeah somethin happened to me but i shall not go into the details. Jus wondering... Maybe its in the particular person itself? I mean as in not wanting to LOSE. To anyone in that matter. Is it counted as being competetive? Cause i sure as hell dont think so.

Okok.. on a lighter note. My back is peeling like mad! First you'll notice the raw skin thats on my shoulders.. Skin still peeling from the previous visit to Sentosa! (Not a nice sight, trust me)

My first lesson for my advance diploma class starts tonight! Quite excited about it actually.. and a tad nervous.. Hoping for a positive outcome so that i can get my "kaki's" for my upcoming project in time to come. (and for them to help me sign attendance when im not around) =x

Thought about it for a while already.. and i still dont know how to celebrate my birthday! Its either Chalet, clubbing, dinner or nothing at all. Right now the only option im considering is not celebrating at all.. Dunno why but i dun feel like it.. its as though im only thinkin of celebrating it for the sake of celebrating. Whats the use when im gonna end up using more money and not being happy right? *sigh* Oh well... shall stop here. Life is a bore.

2005-07-25T09:12:00.000+08:00

Monday morning and im feeling shitty like hell! Really.. The aircon anywhere doesnt help my breathing and im slowly losing my sense of smell. Oh the WONDERS of the FLU bug.. Bleah! Wondering if i'll manage to get through today esp since i have my driving lesson tonight. Driving oh driving~ fun fun! Keke..

Well i managed to watch "The Island" yesterday with Jean, Brandon and Jessie. Was kinda predictable as to how the show was going to unfold. Still, the show was good! And so was Scarlet Johannson! *Cat call* LoL.. Heard from Gerald, my colleague, that she's only twenty! My god! She's my age?! *drools* I so wanna be German right now. Heh.. I can take care of my face right now! Jean bought me a face scrub from Body shop~ im gonna use it like every day now! =D *Beams*

Honestly i think its the medicine i took thats making me kinda "high" and chirpy.. haha!

*&^$

2005-07-20T14:11:00.000+08:00

Money is not enough,
Love life not active enough,
and me..Not fit enough! *cries*
Life is full of complaints isnt it? Bah.
Better start planning on how to improve the situation on my financial handling.

2005-06-14T11:31:00.000+08:00

Hihi! Yes its me again.. same ol' boring me >.< Today's work is definitely different from the usual routine that i've grown accustomed to.. Right now im sitting in for my senior who is on urgent leave to take care of his grandma in hospital! Hope she'll be alright for aaron's sake.. He's been nothing but nice ever since i stepped in to this place. Well back to where i am.. covering for him... as the PA to our Senior Director *gulps*. So-called first day on this job and im sweating my palms off already.. I like the pro's of bein here though.. naggy bosses of mine dare not touch me.. hell they seem almost scared of me even! lol.. power oh mighty!

ANyhoo, elmo is celebratin his birthday together with michelle at ChinaBlack this saturday.. was thinking of what to get for him and well, i got jean to share the gift with me and we narrowed it down to 2 options! Shhh.. aint tellin them here cause he may jus see it =p Ah~ i cant wait! dancin clubbin time! Better enjoy myself before my money depletes mext week.. Sigh! I hate my pay..

2005-05-29T16:13:00.000+08:00

i look weird with these specs dun i?

Case of the Ex

2005-05-29T15:14:00.001+08:00

Went to Cineleisure to meet Brandon last night.. and guess who else was there with him? JESSIE.. i wouldnt say it was a BAD thing.. just awkward? we haven really spoken to each other for a year and a half already! (gosh.. has it been that long..?) Lookin each other in the face was already a challenge.. Either way, Glad to know she's all good though =]

Now that im grounded to the confines of my house cause of the heavy rain, i feel somewhat lost.. Been messagin Jean since mornin and yet no answer from her.. Guess she's havin fun of her own as well.. I FEEL SO LONELY DAMNIT! *BIG sigh* Need to get something to keep my mind occupied.. Ok! a book? a movie? i cant decide.. Ahhh! Fuck me Sideways. seriously.. dunno what im thinkin now.

time ta listen to some blues and fade away from this world.. *GoNe*

Case of the Ex?

2005-05-29T15:14:00.000+08:00

Plans

2005-05-18T14:19:00.000+08:00

Ahh~ Nothing better than a caffeine high from my "lunch" to kill the sleepyness and reactivate my hyperness. Currently stuck in the office with NOONE around me! Which is good cause the nosy bosses arent disturbin me and BAD cause theres no one for me to release my hype to! Argh!!! *bops around in the chair* Ok.. lemme see.. last time i updated i went to the beach right? Well its been about a month since then? Yea i think so.. and my skin is just as fair as ever! AGAIN! bleah.. Sooooo need to go back! Every sunday it seems, there would always be a setback that wouldnt allow me to go there to have fun! Its either my company that cant get up, me having somethin else to do or go to last minute, or the friggin' weather! Oh well.. i think im just fated to be stuck in singapore island I....need.. a....T.t..t..Tan! *dies* ok so much for drama.. i know im a lousy actor! Comments? Keep it to yourself pls! :x

Hmmm.. Recently took off the top portion of my double-deckered bed with the help of ivan. Finally my room LOOKS as though theres more space! Now im jus gonna have to redecorate my room (Walls and cupboard to be exact) and to clear the unwanted interior in my wardrobe! Was thinkin of getting acrylic shelves for my wall but have NO idea where ta get them! Anyone knows where?? Saw a perfect example of what i want at the annex shops in heeren.. know the long walkway shop that shows all the decorative items as you walk by? Yea that shop has the exact material and layout of what i want for my wall! Kinda thinkin how am i gonna put some light on it as well though my walls and budget wouldnt allow it -.- a lamp? hmmm.. Well if anyone has got suggestions pls tell me k? Gonna stone in front of my desk as my hyper aura slowly disipitate. Ciao ppl! *drops from chair to the ground*... ZzzZzZ

May week 1

2005-05-03T11:30:00.000+08:00

BORED!

2005-04-26T10:12:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. Tuesday morning and here i am at work with nothing to do! Yea.. Its been like that since i first stepped in to my new posting last week.. I come to work by 8.30, sit my ass down and turn on my computer, slack for one hour then head for breakfast with my colleagues. Once that's done, i slack for another 2 1/2 hrs till i go for lunch! Then maybe after i'll finally get some work for me to do like.. what.. deliver some documents? sheesh.. 5mins of work. For the whole freakin day! And im eating much more than i can burn off! Okok.. enough ranting bout not enough work.

Went to Sentosa last sunday and my god the sun was great! first i thought the weather would be sucky cause the sun was being blocked out all morning.. turned out to be MUCH better when i reached Palawan beach. Oh yea.. it was only me and ivan there that day cause our dear Mr. Samuel Wong stayed home last minute. PffffT! to you sam.. hah. So what could 2 bored guys do in sentosa? Hmmm.. We TANNED( though ivan didnt have that in his itinary), drank beer, built sand castles(kiddish right? still fun =P) and of course, went babe watchin!.. Lil eye buffet anyone? Keke.. Anyway, i had a charred body as a souvenir to my visit to sentosa after god knows how long! And funny thing is that my skin didnt start peeling till friday which was 5 days after that! (it still is now actually)
Plannin to go there this sunday again! Anyone game? Of course with more ppl there im sure we'll be doin stuff other than bulding sand castles.. LoL!

Why does it seem that the good clothes always appear in front of my eyes when im broke? Anyone care to share their views on my financial torture? Need to make a quick buck man.. And no sellin of my ass pls. I mean seriously earnin money.. without CPF of course. Cant let the government know about it can i? Well thats about enough for today.. goin back to stoning mode for now. *looks at watch*2hrs more to lunch! arghh!

bah

2005-04-12T00:45:00.000+08:00

i hate myself!... nuff' said.

NS Part 2

2005-04-07T22:19:00.000+08:00

w00t! I finally POP'ed! Hahaha.. After two weeks of strainuous training and polishing of boots(u have no idea how much time went into those boots), the parade finally took place TODAY! Okok.. Wasnt just that.. had my exams which rumoured to us that only 3 ppl from my squad passed! Imagine the anxiety in all of us! In the end, it was a false rumour cause only 10 failed(yea i passed =P) and they passed it all with their retest earlier on monday!

Anyone can guess where i got posted to? Well from next week onwards, i'll be reporting to the Ministry of Home Affairs.. No idea what im gonna be doing there but its most likely that i'll be doing Secretarial work as a Staff Assistant.. omg.. Well at least the good point is that i'll be doin office hours from now on huh? Heh.. BAD point however, is that i wun get anymore free food! Or training which means i'll jus grow fatter again..SIGH! I swear my officer in charge is a lazy ass.. Whole squad got picked for Staff Assistants not cause we're suay.. jus cause he didnt think we can make it to the patrolling side. Bleah..
Well anyway i think i better end here.. got the OC to watch! And i gotta wake up early to report to camp at 7am.. WHY? to clear out my barracks and return some issued stuff.. and to get properly transfered to my new place.. well nite ppl! cheers!

2005-03-20T10:53:00.000+08:00

Ah yes.. Finally ONE update from me after god knows how long! LoL.. Life can be so blissful sometimes duncha think? I'll gladly say that i've been much more happier than my usual self for the past month or so.. why? Maybe it'll sound silly but i think i found the soulmate of a lifetime in someone close.. Though my wussy self keeps refraining me from tellin that someone my feelings, i guess in the end the companionship i got is more than i could have asked for already.. The care and concern shown towards me without any hesitation jus draws me ever closer! Okok u get the point by now.. ha!

Other than that, guess what? I finished all my shooting frames and tests! And you guys are all lookin at a Marksman's Blog right now =P SO happy bout that i tell ya! 1 down, 2 more to go.. Which is my law test thats coming this tuesday!(fark 2 more days) and my Unarmed Tactics test.. I am SOoooo anxious and worried! Really hope i dun fail any of them.. 2+ more weeks and my basic training is considered over! Finito! hah.. Then again i hope to be posted to NPC, which will be another 3 months residential training in camp(bummer -.-) BUT! I'll be doin the frontline stuff! AND AND! oh oh this is the best part.. a chance to get my FREE class 3 license! hehehe *grin* Since NS stalled my advance in getting my license earlier, its only nice of em to present this opportunity to me right? Yea.. i agree too =X Anyway thats all for now.. brain dead from all the activity!

CNY!

2005-02-05T18:54:00.000+08:00

Okok so i've not exactly been prompt on my updates.. sorry peeps! can finally breathe at ease now.. Chinese New Year is coming! And im only going back to camp for like what.. 2 1/2 days in total for this coming week? Yea! Ok well thats the good news.. Bad news, got a test this monday and MIGHT get an extra day of sentry on the following saturday.. (Yes, sentry is starting for me -.-)

Lemme see what i did in camp this week.. Ok actually its jus the usual.. slacking, studying, drill-ing and yea.. so-called exercising. Fark man i swear im not gonna lose wieght in PA! Even gotta do my own exercises at night before i sleep to make me feel satisfied! Grrr... ANYHOO.. went out to meet Jean for dinner yest at Marche(OMG did we eat alot!) and followed by coffee at the coffee club, chatter chatter chit chit about her life so far including mine and bitchin bout stuff . Did even MORE bitching and then came Sam who suggested we go for a spin. Where? ANywhere! Well we ended up at east coast for about an hour or so before we sending jean back home and to CHinablack. And it was like 3am by the time we reached there la! ur thinkin wth? same here.. all of us paid the cover charge and danced to the last set of RnB and damnnit was it a dissapointment! Music was still ok in the beggining but jus when i THOUGHT things were starting to warm up, they change the music back to contemporary! Argh... okok that was last night..
had 5 hours or so of sleep before rushing down to The glass house Fish & co (i was late >.<) to meet my bunkmates, Ben, Ahmad and the Ultra oozing coolness japanese Coast guard, Nishi Norifumi! keke.. Man did we eat our fill! Didnt really have anything to do after that as we left on our seperate ways so here i am.. Anyway will update more soon. Ciao ppl! Cheers!

2005-01-21T17:14:00.000+08:00

Time flies doesnt it? A month and a half has passed sinced i joined the Police Academy! Sorry bout the lack of updates here yea? Afraid i cant bitch about the things goin on inside cause its always the same repative ongoings in camp.. Classes, Drills lessons, Physical Training(still doesnt seem to be working) and our trainings for the upcoming Rugby tourney!

Hmm.. Well other than that my weekends are always the same i guess. Clubbing, Coffee and more clubbin! Heh.. have been goin to Chinablack quite often with my usual mates! And for last night? Eve of Hari raya.. Went to Phuture first(i saw Wyman there) but the crowd wasnt appealling for me so all of us ended up at Cheeky monkeys till 4 when it closed! U know the feeling of NOT wanting the night to end yet? Yea i had that so i suggested we pop by to my former work place.. Was kinda glad we did actually =] Got to see Cindy,Melissa,James, Isa and the rest of the PMK crew! Finally i felt at home again.. Jus wish i didnt see someone ELSE there though.. so awkward! Bleah.. Anyhoo, after waiting for all of em to finish up, We went to Bencoolen Kopitiam for supper cum breakfast (well it was already 6am by that time) *shrugz* Chit chatted and bitched about Life, its ups(sex) and downs (bad sex) while gobbling down our spoonfuls of Chicken rice. Yes yes~ Sessions like these can never EVER(i mean it) get boring! haha.. A note to james(though i doubt him readin this).. Loosen up on the last minute drinking sprees man.. So we left on our seperate ways and home we went. And thats where i am. Home. Oh so empty yet comforting and wonderful home~ Now i gotta get ready to go out and visit my grandfather at SGH and probably meet my crew after dat! Guess thats all? *thinks* yea i thats all.. cant think no more. Heh. ciao ppl! Take care and Cheers!

2004-12-18T10:29:00.000+08:00

My first bookout from camp! Dunno wad to say man.. my hair is like shit! Ok it may be considered long compared to the standard NS haircut but STILL... i look so commando-ish! Ahhhh! Crap man.. No smoking in the Academy.. Pure crappiness with that.. Workout everyday which is fine actually(other than the countless pumpings that kill us) and waking up every morning with a different part of my body aching.

Guess one thing i really cant get used to is sleeping so early every night! freakin 9pm and all's quiet.. on a normal day i'd probably be STARTING work or outside gettin some coffee or a movie! forcing myself to sleep in an old barrack that is most probably haunted and NOT being able to sleep half the time, seriously sucks when i keep waking up everytime and seeing the time, only to find out its 10+ or just after midnight.. and when i finally DO get to sleep(which is arnd 3), id be woken up not long after that.. bleah.

Seeing the drills done by all the squads really made me impressed man! I wan my squad to be jus as good or even better than them! Hate it when ppl look down on us.. Arses i swear -.-

Anyway after i got changed at home i rushed down to orchard with samuel(who waited at the PA gate to meet me) to meet Vaune and Ivan for coffee at Spin! Man.. the freedom never felt so good man! Was enjoyin the mocha spin, PEPSI, the Civilian corwd and babes! Wahahha.. Babe watching never gets boring man =D Ate Old Chang Kee, talked cock, saw more babes, then we went over to MU while Vaune left for home(spoiler!).. And for the first time, i queued to get in! haha! Was fun though =D Met my colleagues and customers.. saw the new wine bar, danced and drank like crazy! Only thing that dampened my mood a lil was when i noticed my ex there.. Anyway, after the lights came on, Ivan headed for home while samuel joined me for supper at newton before goin home.. and here i am after wakin up, bloggin on my second day of freedom before i go in tomm night.. OMG i dun wanna go back!!!! AWOL ah!

2004-12-10T05:46:00.001+08:00

4 more days till i get enlisted.. know wat? i dont feel so good.. Im kinda numb to the feeling that im going in but in my life now, i feel like shit. I have 2 more days at work left.. Already im missing work. No.. i should put it more accurately.. im already missing my colleagues and the place itself. 1 1/2 yrs of my life spent in that location, with loads of memories! And im glad to say they were mostly good ones. The honour i had of working side by side with the best people that can be found anywhere =] Hell.. They were my diaries and company most of the time when others werent around! Playing pool, chillin with me for coffee sessions, clubbin like animals and bitchin about anything and everything wrong in this world! To all my fellow eat-snake kakis, cheerful, responsible,funny and funkadelic colleagues, Bless you all =]

As for my more personal, in-depth life, think im jus not cut out for relationships. Either i get played or things jus dont work out. Last thing i need is to be continuosly tortured mentally when im in camp! Ask a question and what do i get? SILENCE.. how GOLDEN -.- Time to turn gay i guess?? Hahaha.. No thanks(though i know some ppl like to suan me as one).. kissing another male is not mah thang! Fark.. jus remain single till the right one comes yea? For now, Screw love!

Which brings me to another thought.. My plans are screwed for christmas eve already! Arghh.. What to do when i book out?? Stay home? Go church? Club?(with who -.-), watch a movie?(same question..) Damn it..

k think i said too much today.. nite ppl..

goodbye freedom and hair!

2004-11-21T08:55:00.000+08:00

I got my enlistment letter! Like finally! and im goin in pretty soon... like 3 weeks + soon! (and i thought they usually give 3 months notice -.- ) Not only do i get lotsa holidays when i just go in(heh), but im also going to the police academy! My grandpa must be damn bloddy happy im going to police -.- Anyway, im kinda excited even now.. was quite shocked when i first opened the letter though.. i was like huh?! So soon?! Guess i dun wish to leave my colleagues and dear friends behind..

Omg.. no more clubbing on wednesdays! Sorry sam.. guess u'll have to find another person if u want male company =P Coffee sessions? Not so often anymore i guess.. =\ and goodbye hair! *cries* AHhhh! feel miserable enough knowing i cut my original hair length by half! Now its gonna be HALVED again?! nightmare nightmare..!

Wonder if anyone is gonna miss me or even notice my absence? Hmm.. Guess not! Lol.. im too cb-lised to be missed right? hahahaha... okok feeling tired.. gonna stop here.

Countdown!
23 days..........

uh.

2004-11-07T14:29:00.000+08:00

Okok i know i haven been posting for AGES! Sorry peeps.. my bad yea? Anyway i know what to say now.. i got a new haircut! Aint proud of it btw.. In fact! Well.. it looks "a lil" retro.. haha! Think "boyzone when they first came out" and then take a look at me =x

Was in Jakarta earlier this week.. Cant say i did much other than shop shop and SHOP! Went around helpin my mum look at new potential locations for her new business there and also ate lotsa lovely food.. in which i gained a hefty amount of weight -.-

Gonna be pretty busy this coming week.. working everyday of this week thanks to Deepavali and Hari raya! Feel like bitchin more but hell.. its money in the bag rite? Oh and for u ppl who wanna know how i look like now in my new haircut, i aint postin a pic =P so find me in person and u'll know.. haha!

thoughtssss

2004-10-16T17:13:00.000+08:00

Why is it that we, beings of the lost emotional cycle, always fall in and out of love? First its a trip to the heavens everytime ones heart recognises another social being as a potential romantic partner. Feel the jitters everytime u see that person from afar? Temptations to approach him/her yet the power of friction is harder to fight than you thought once you're near enough. Lets say you DO approach that someone.. its either rejection or acception(be it slow or fast).

After countless dates, going out for the movies, chatting over some coffee or nice cocoa, the catch falls into the web of love and devotion. "2 become 1" as they say.. and well, happiness is found! Or so you thought! Well honestly, not every couple around can be at peace with other for long.. so what gives? The endless quarrels of different opinions,you not understanding me, me not understanding you, cruelty or cold treatment to other and for some, the "third party" comes into the picture. Im sure no one likes that in the least. A web of love mutates to the dark and never ending pit of jealousy, distrust and anger..

Ok so i was jus talking about the "dark" side of relationships. But still, the most common outcome.. they always say you will find the ONE for you sooner or later in life.. Will you really? God knows.. and if i can help it, i think its better not to understand the vicious whirlpool of emotions that goes on in our lives.

P.s if you dont understand what i was talkin about all this time, dont ask me. Neither do i.
-faints-

Big Sigh

2004-10-10T22:29:00.000+08:00

Its been a while since i had to work 6 days in a week.. just say my schedule for this coming week and MY GOD! Im gonna be busy busy like hell sia.. As for my social life, have been clubbing every chance i got on off days but i still feel somewhat empty. This week has been pretty "interesting" =P Aint gonna say much but it definitely is a week to remember.. Hope things will stay happy and all.. Oh and yea.. spent most of my pay in 10 days since i got it! now i have 20 more days to last without sufficient cash.. *begs* pls donate to the cal support fund thanks! haha.. gotta rush off now. To anyone readin, cheers and lean back! =D

end of september

2004-09-28T04:39:00.000+08:00

Well im offically 19! =D haha.. The chalet was definitely a nice change of environment rather than the usual clubbing scene that im used to. Overall im pretty glad i decided to bring party to a chalet rather than my working place(terms of money spent). Had Lotsa booze i tell ya! Saw friends of mine that i haven seen for ages and ones that meant dear to me =] Guess i jus wanna thank everyone who came for sacrificing ur time for me on my special day of the year! Have many ppl to thank.. too many in fact! Guess i'll thank you all individually in person when i get the chance =P What can i say.. i've never been sabo'ed this much before! Countless cake smashed on my face.. the amount of alcohol we had(scary) and the games everyone played =] Only regret? Not having planned the speakers for music properly.. -.- what did we do in our lack of music? Overhear our neighbours music! Wahahha.. lameness! Dont think i'll be havin anymore happenin events for the week so there it is.. my birthday month ends!

outing!

2004-09-20T00:27:00.000+08:00

Had 5 hours of sleep after work last night in which i didnt wanna wake up.. Somehow i finally managed to get my ass off the bed and the house to meet Wyman,wendy his gf, cindy,alex and P.
So what did we do when we finallyarrived at siloso beach? Err.. hahaha! Nothing much when i think about it.. Did some suntaning( we were interupted by the rain-.-), chilled at the bar most of the time where we drank carlsberg beers and munched on foodstuffs with lotsa mustard! =P And..yeah.. that was all! Oh well, looking into the mirror now and my skin is still lookin as fair as ever(damn!). Really really wanted to get an obvious tan =\ Guess i'll have to wait till next time.. Anyway, spent all of mah money today so ive got think of how to spend my time from monday till wednesday since im not working.. Penniless! Argh that sucks.. But hurray for me as well! Birthday is approachin! I just hope everything will go smoothly.. *sigh* Shall end here then.. nite ppl!

dodge,duck,dip,dive and dodge -.-

2004-09-14T05:17:00.000+08:00

Dodgeball! A lame movie.. seriously! But still funny i guess.. the american humour that we all know so well -.- Watched it this evening with my mom and colleagues (yes my mom!) Haven't watched a show with her or done anything with her in fact, for quite some time! Got interupted during the movie a few times cause of my colleagues.. So i headed down to MU after dinner with the others where Gabriel, Wendy, Sergius, Kaixin and El joined me later on. Damn that felt good! The dancin~ The drinkin~ and of course the gossiping.. haha! Only thought that bothers me right now? WORK! im working every other day this week! How much more shitty can that get?! Oh well, might as well do it since my celebration will be next week.. heh! Thats all for now i guess.. Back to my TV!

Woohoo!

2004-08-29T07:57:00.000+08:00

Got a new skin for my blog! haha... kinda big though.. how do u like it guys? comments pls! Bloody hell its a sunday mornin now and i still gotta work later today.. aint gonna get much sleep later either cause im meeting brandon and missy for coffee.. -.- Dun mind as much though~ at least i can finally have another coffee session after this hectic week at work! =D

sigh

2004-08-20T06:15:00.000+08:00

My mood seems so dense now.. a month and 5 more days to go before it hits my 19th birthday.. Thinkin back, that was the time when me and jessie were still datin each other! Gosh.. has it been a year already..? Feels like it was a year wasted.. Saw a webbie attached to her nick in msn jus now and i went to visit the site.. saw pics of her and her bf.. kinda happy for her and yet.. heh.. im jus silly.
Shall stop this shit talk. Anyway, im planning to take off from work on the eve and my actual birthday.. Only thing now is what should i do? hmm... go clubbin? chalet? Was thinkin of celebratin at sentosa.. like an overnight thing.. Last time i was there, it was magnificent! But im also thinkin of the response.. have a feeling most people wont or CANT stay.. sigh.. what to do what to do..?

ZzZZz

2004-08-07T20:53:00.000+08:00

Saturday night and im here at egames posting cause im bored out of my mind! I have... lemme see.. 45 more mins to kill before i leave for work! Thinkin about working tonight is fine.. But TOMM! ARGH... hope i dun hafta work on monday *wishful thinking* Oh well, at least i wun spend much these few days right? Haha.. Not that i have much to spend on nowadays -.- Got less than 200 left for the rest of the month and its only the 7th! How the hell did i spend so much??? Anyway, my mum is at Jakarta now so she's helping me get some jeans and long sleeve shirts back! WooHoo! Shopping for free! Too bad i cant choose em.. Finally got to see Elaine (marv's fren) yesterday before work.. I swear i saw her on Cine on monday! Or was it tuesday o.O (if ur wonderin how i thought it was her even before i saw her, its from her pics i saw in the past).

Gotta surrender my wallet and all my loose change later at work.. been quite a while since we practiced that at work.. Irritating! But oh well, who am i to complain yea? *looks at my watch again* half an hour more to go! Woohoo! time flies when ur crapping ur life about! hahah! ok this is getting lame.. Im off!

%^#$%$@#

2004-08-04T04:30:00.000+08:00

Can i bitch? *looks around* no objections? GOOD!
FARK MAN! Only got today and tomm off work! GOtta work form thursday all the way till sunday! Arghh.. Stupid national day! -.- 3 days of work till 5am.. Damn the thought sucks like hell! Worked on monday and had to help shift all the lockers from upstairs to the stairs and ladies toilet.. Man those things are NOT light! seriously.. woke up earlier today with my arms aching! All good though! Heh..

Met an old friend at my workplace for a drink and to shoot some pool.. Heard some things about a person in my past that kinda bothers me. *sigh* Never have i looked at her in such a light the way he described her.. Funny thing is, it wasnt only him! Was talkin to someone else online today and she told me about her as well.. wonder how come these things just love coming at once..... *sits back and frowns*

urgh..

2004-07-29T11:39:00.000+08:00

I'll be very surprised if anyone reads this.. Anyway, Feelin abit(okok.. VERY) shitty abt last night.. Got High and drunk before i knew it.. And i had to show to it to friends(Michelle and Zoe) that i haven gone out with for some time already.. Wish i could redo the whole of last night.. Probably scared them off by now -.- Oh well.. Shit happens(well in my case, puke happens) And DAMN the coffee! I love coffee and all but NOT when im drunk.. argh.. made me instantly puke again.. Crap.. Better be more prepared this coming sunday..! Shall not drink too much.. i hope.. Anyway, Pay will be in by then and well, hopefully i can still survive.. Paying off some debts, treats tt i owe and of course my expenses for the month.. wouldnt be much.. *sigh* NS! Come save me... -.- Then again whats new right? Haha.. 2 weeks a rich man, the other 2 weeks a beggar.. Gosh.

Moral for today?
Dont mix too much types of alcohol in ur tummy in one night!

Dysfunct

sigh

"I am affectionate and skeptical"

I'm a Mazda Miata!

Santa Clause is~ ....DEAD....

What hit song of 2005 are you?

Christmas wants!

Lost and Found CD

*slumps*

christmas jeer

ya know?

INFECTION

Have you ever?

examinal diarohea

troubled

November rantings

RAnt RANT

zzz

Facing reality

New skin!

Got chocolate?

Demise

*&^$

Case of the Ex

Case of the Ex?

Plans

May week 1

BORED!

bah

NS Part 2

CNY!

goodbye freedom and hair!

uh.

thoughtssss

Big Sigh

end of september

outing!

dodge,duck,dip,dive and dodge -.-

Woohoo!

sigh

ZzZZz

%^#$%$@#

urgh..

slumps